Stimulate the economy, stimulate your taste buds

By now, as an upright, tax-paying member of society, you should have received a $300 to $600 economic-stimulus check from the IRS. If you haven’t already bought a PS3 and copy of Grand Theft Auto IV or enough drugs to get yourself arrested, then maybe it’s high time you pampered yourself by cramming delicious, high-priced foodstuffs down your gaping maw. But just because you can suddenly afford it doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy it, so The A.V. Club humbly submits this blue-collar citizen’s guide to surviving living it up for one glorious night.

Arun’s Thai Restaurant
4156 N. Kedzie Ave.
Given pad Thai’s ubiquity, it’s hard to imagine the corresponding cuisine as anything other than omnipresent and not special. Arun’s calls bullshit on that notion by adding a considerable amount of class and elegance to the dishes (see: a carrot thoroughly carved to resemble a goldfish, or lobster and king crab with a chili sauce). Cost: $85 per person, without drinks. Monocle factor: There’s no menu. That can be a put off-putting, especially since it’s a suspenseful 12-course menu served in two hours. You’ll state your food restrictions and preferences, and the chefs will work their magic, whether you like its potentially alienating side effects or not (see: the aforementioned carrot-fish). Why it’s worth sticking around: Hey, Wolfgang Puck declared it “the best Thai restaurant in the country,” so what’s $85 to see for yourself, Moneybags?

Sixteen
401 N. Wabash Ave.
Somehow, a restaurant built 16 floors above the Chicago Sun-Times’ rubble in what’s now Trump Tower warrants airport-like prices for entrées. Cost: $95 tasting menu per person or $145 with wine, or slum it with an appetizer, entrée, and dessert for around $71. Monocle factor: It’s tough to even talk about eating here without sounding like an asshole: “Yeah, so last night I had the chocolate parfait ($15), for the appetizer an entire quail wrapped in puff pastry in stewed fruit ($18), and a milk-fed poussin ($38).” (That’s literally a baby hen that’s inexplicably been fed powdered milk for a few weeks.) Why it’s worth sticking around: The seats are comfy, the view is nice, and maybe you’ll find a $100 bill lying around from your fellow richies.

Alinea
1723 N. Halsted St.
Can a snobby list like this really be complete without Alinea, Lincoln Park’s culinary masterpiece? Cost: $145 per person for a 13-item “tasting menu” or $225 for a 24-item “tour menu.” Monocle factor: Uninitiated diners will have a tough time deciphering the unhelpful menu (the “green almond” course consists of “sweet, hot, sour, and salty”), but the food is beyond delicious and hoity-toity. The menu, naturally, changes regularly, but the courses often feature familiar items with mind-bending twists and flavor combinations, like mushroom, cherry, and ice cream combined with foam. Why it’s worth sticking around: Yeah, $225 is a lot of taco money, but why not give your tapeworm a break and feed it some classy grub for a change?