Unskinny bop: The A.V. Club's dream menu for Blue 13's upcoming hair metal-themed dinner
"What's for dinner, Ma?"
Following the success of Graham Elliot’s Chowtown at Lollapalooza and Sound Opinions' sold-out fancy dinner at Blackbird, what’s to stop Blue 13 from carrying its summer rock ’n’ roll dinners on into fall? Does anything say high-end foodie dinner more than good old smelly spandex pants and bullet belts? Not likely!
That’s why Sept. 8, Blue 13 (416 W. Ontario St., 312-787-1400) is hosting a five-course salute to “Hair Bands of the ’80s.” Each course will be “inspired by a specific track from a band and will be served to a playlist of that band’s music.”
Of course, hair metal superstars lived on cocaine, Jack Daniels, and pussy, but they’re old and sad now. They would love to eat some fancy food, right? With that in mind, here’s what The A.V. Club would really like to see served at this event, besides the requisite Ratt and Cherry Pie.
Appetizers:
She Don't Know Miso - Bon Jovi
Somebody Save Me a Wing - Cinderella
Shout At The Deviled Eggs - Mötley Crüe
Rock (Shrimp) Of Ages - Def Leppard
Blazin’ Wings Of Glory - Jon Bon Jovi
Kickstart My Heart, Potato Skins - Mötley Crüe
Monkeybread Business - Skid Row
Entrées:
Pour Some Sugar On My Cereal - Def Leppard
I Saw Red (Meat) - Warrant
Ground And Round - Ratt
I'll Baste - Van Halen
Shake ’N’ Bake Me - Cinderella
High
’
N’ Dry Rub - Def Leppard
Don't Treat Meat Bad - Firehouse
Bad Venison - Bon Jovi
Burning Like A Flame-Broiled Whopper - Dokken
Stryper'd Bass
Drinks:
Nighttrain - Guns
’
N’ Roses
I Wanna Rock
’
N’ Rye - Twisted Sister
I Could Never Beer Without You - Enuff Z'Nuff
Desserts:
Mr. Coldstone - Guns
’
N’ Roses
Runnin’ With The Devil's Food Cake - Van Halen
Cum On Feel The Boysenberry - Quiet Riot
Rock You Like A Week-Old Cake - Scorpions
Detroit Rock Candy - Kiss
Madeline - Winger
Talk Derby Pie to Me - Poison
Burning Like A Flambe - Dokken
Post-scripts:
It’s So Greasy - Guns
’
N
’
Roses
Something To Heave In - Poison
