Was Shatner worth it?: Pricing the celebrity swag at Wizard World
Yes, Blagojevich was charging $80 for personal photos
Your picture in this Delorean: $20
Wizard World has problems, to say the least. Held this past weekend in the dank basement that is the Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont, the low-rent Comic Con was overcrowded and underwhelming.
This year’s big headlining celebrity was William Shatner, a Wizard World coup, as he actually is a celebrity. Most of the “big names” the fest draws are dubious to say the least. One of this year’s big draws was disgraced ex-Governor, current shame-bringer, and all-time scumbag Rod Blagojevich, who signed autographs for five hours on Saturday.
Even more appalling was what Blago was charging for those autographs: $50. Want an awkward photo with that creep? That runs a cool $80.
That’s right—$80. For that degenerate, it’s definitely a rip-off, but what about the other less-than-celebrities who were whoring their images and signatures out? For what they were each charging, was it worth it? Let The A.V. Club decide. It’s time to go all Suze Orman on this celebrity micro-economy.
William Shatner: $95 for a photo, $75 for an autograph.
While some of the other “celebrities” sat sadly at their tables waiting for someone, anyone, to talk to them, Shatner oozed actual celebrity. He blasted through Wizard World with a cadre of bodyguards and fortunate volunteers on his way to the photo sessions. He even somehow managed to look stylish in his prerequisite actor-y linen pants and shirt.
Worth it? Honestly, yeah. This dude’s famous. Think of the Facebook cred that profile pic would bring.
Adam “Batman” West with the Batmobile: $70 for a photo
Burt “Robin” Ward and the Batmobile: $65 for a photo
West, Ward, and the Batmobile: $120
The Batmobile alone: $10 for a picture outside the car. $20 for a photo while sitting inside.
Julie “Catwoman” Newmar: $30 for an autograph + $10 more for a photo.
Admittedly, people who would want to get their pictures taken with Burt Ward are probably classic Batman super-fans. Still, $65 seems a little steep, considering a photo with Adam West (who’s still working in Hollywood today, albeit mostly as a caricature of himself) is $70. But the Batmobile’s in both, and that’s worth $10 right there, right?
Worth it? For Bat-sciples, the duo photo op might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. $40 for a Julie Newmar encounter, though? To Wong-Foo-get about it.
James Marsters: $45 for an autographed press still.
Nicholas Brendon: $40 for a personal photo
As Spike and Xander, respectively, on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Marsters and Brendon drew the attention of all the ladies. At Wizard World, it’s not much different. Well—Marsters drew a lot of attention. Brendon walked the convention floor unattended from time to time, and never had more than three or four girls in line waiting to talk to him. Marsters, on the other hand, was one of the only celebrities at the event who refused to pose for casual photos and would only sign the stills he provided. Maybe he really is a vampire and just didn’t want to disappoint when he didn’t show up in the snaps.
Worth it? Maybe. Marsters has been in a few sci-fi shows, while Brendan’s struggled publicly with substance abuse and anonymity. Marsters is probably the better bang for the buck.
Linda Hamilton: $50 for a personal photo
Linda Blair: $15 for a personal photo
Lindsay Wagner: $30 for a personal photo
Terminator's Sarah Connor, Regan from The Exorcist, and The Bionic Woman were all looking pretty good. Blair’s apparently on the same arm-shaping plan as Madonna, has gone vegan, and was repping animal rights hard in her booth. Linda Hamilton’s a little sad, though. Either she’s fame-starved, or must not have seen much money in her 1999 divorce from James Cameron. Lindsay Wagner’s just boring. Her sad booth was pretty much deserted all Saturday.
Worth it? For Hamilton and Wagner, no. For Linda Blair, though, why not? She was donating a portion of the proceeds to her doggy charity, too.
Julia Jones: $30
Jones plays Leah Clearwater in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and was one of the marquee stars of the convention. That being said, her booth wasn’t getting much fan play, and she sat there looking endlessly bored. In the Twi-world, or even the Teen Vogue world, she might be a rising star, but at Wizard World, no one had a clue.
Worth it? It’s risky. Maybe she’ll be the next Angelina Jolie. On the other hand, maybe she’ll be even less famous when the movies end in 2012.
Jake “Young Anakin” Lloyd: $25 for a personal photo
Paris “Mike Teevee” Themmen and Denise “Violet Beauregarde” Nickerson: $20 each for personal photos
Basically only known for playing “Young Anakin” in Star Wars: Episode 1—The Phantom Menace, Lloyd posed for photos in his booth wearing a Cubs bucket hat—the kind you get for signing up for a free credit card at Wrigley. Maybe he was trying to appeal to the local crowd, but no one was really biting. Themmen and Nickerson were stuck all the way in the back of “celebrity alley” and sat in front of a yellowing autographed Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory poster. It was incredibly sad, especially because they just looked like such gosh darn nice people.
Worth it? Willy Wonka’s a classic, so for Themmens and Nickerson, definitely. Lloyd, no. Even Star Wars maniacs hate Episode 1.
Lorenzo Lamas: $30 for a personal photo
Ian Ziering: $25 for a personal photo
Johnny Fairplay: $15 for two “I hate Johnny Fairplay” shot glasses. Photos presumably free.
All three of these knuckleheads have appeared on reality shows lately, though at least Lamas and Ziering were famous-ish before they went uber-D-list. Ziering sat with his feet on his table, surveying all the ladies that passed, Steve Sanders-style, whereas Lamas glared menacingly at passersby. No one dared go near that booth. Dude was terrifying. Johnny Fairplay is terrifying for another reason: his desperate attempts to cling to fame. It makes him somehow even less attractive than he ever was.
Worth it? Fairplay, of course not. Lamas, probably not. Quite a few thirtysomething ladies gave in to the smarmy charms of Ziering out of nostalgia. He’s no Luke Perry, but he’ll do.
Micky Dolenz: $40 for a personal photo
Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry: $10 each for a personal photo
These two booths drew big. Monkee Dolenz hocked drumsticks, drum-heads, photos, and whatever else he could get his Circus Boy hands on. Knight teamed up with wife/Joliet native/America’s Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry in his booth. Curry, dressed as “slave Leia,” had fest-goers gawking all day long. For a d-list celebrity, what could be better?
Worth it? For Dolenz, not really. Even the most die-hard Monkees fans shouldn’t want a picture of the guy now, with his extreme old-man face. Knight and Curry, on the other hand, come off as almost a bargain. Curry might be take-it-or-leave-it, but Christopher Knight was Peter Brady, man. That’s pretty famous. For $10, it almost seems like patrons should have to get their picture with him.
Angie Everhart: $30 for a non-nude autographed publicity still. $40 for a nude still. $25 for a picture with your own camera, presumably non-nude.
Amber Smith: $10 for a personal photo
People didn’t seem all that interested in Daphnee Duplaix, “Playboy’s Miss July 1997,” but Stallone’s ex, Everhart, did okay. Interestingly enough, she was selling both “nude and non-nude” autographed stills. Amber Smith has appeared on “the cover of almost 300 magazines” according to her personal website, but lately, she’s perhaps best known for appearing on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab, Sober House, and Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew.
Worth it? For Everhart, only for mega-fans. Smith’s story’s so sad the $10 could be seen as sort of a mercy payment for all the shit she’s gone through on VH1.
Million Dollar Man and The Iron Sheik: $20 each for a personal photo
Mick Foley and Kevin Nash, $40 each for a personal photo
First off, wrestlers don’t age well. Kevin Nash might be a six-time wresting world champ between his WCW and WWF/E titles, but his face looks like it’s been through the 'roids ringer a few hundred times. The Million Dollar man looks like Dad’s weird biker friend, and The Iron Sheik was in full costume. (Maybe he just wears it all the time.) Mick Foley looked like Mick Foley.
Worth it? Only if the ex-strongmen would lift patrons over their heads for the photos. The way the 67-year-old Iron Sheik looked, that’s not happening.
Larry “The Soup Nazi” Thomas: $20 for an autographed ladle.
The sad thing was that people were actually buying these. Somehow, Thomas has managed to turn saying “No soup for you” into a career, giving all the other quasi-celebs at Wizard World a lesson in how to stay so viable on so little. Plus, it pays to be selling something other than glossy headshots.
Worth it? Maybe for people who are really, really into a combination of soup, Seinfeld, and Arrested Development, on which Thomas played a Saddam Hussein lookalike.
