Why can't Bill Murray emcee every Chicago festival?
Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins. (To send a tip for News Net, e-mail newsnetchicago@theonion.com)
• We had little interest in attending Eric Clapton's Crossroads Guitar Fest at Toyota Park on Saturday, featuring Clapton, B.B. King, Jeff Beck, and others. But then it turns out Bill Murray emceed the event, dressed up as Buddy Holly, Elvis, and Jimi Hendrix, and was "on fire all day" according to Greg Kot. Maybe we should've dropped the $100 and sat through Sheryl Crow.
• Beloved Melrose Park ex-amusement park Kiddieland, which closed in December after 81 years, will be officially gone when demolition crews arrive today to clear a path for the area's next tenants. Don't worry, kids, the incoming owners are supposedly planning to build something that's just as whimsical—a new Costco!
• The Northern League's Lake County Fielders, co-owned by actor Kevin Costner, plans on making its debut Friday in a new 6,000-seat ballpark in Zion. According to the Tribune, Costner and co-owner Rich Ehrenreich entertained the idea of the players being introduced by mysteriously emerging from surrounding farmland, a la scenes from Field Of Dreams. No word yet on how Costner plans to make scenes from his other movies, especially hellish post-apocalyptic tales Waterworld and The Postman, also manifest themselves in real life.
• Legendary avant-garde jazz musician and tenor saxophonist Fred Anderson died on Thursday after suffering a heart attack 10 days earlier. He was 81. He leaves behind the Velvet Lounge, the South Side jazz club he opened in the 1982 that became a nationally recognized hotbed for experimental jazz.
• Black Dog Gelato, which distributes its often peculiar-flavored desserts to local restaurants, opened the doors of its own storefront at 859 N. Damen Ave. on Friday. Cool off on a hot summer's day with its chillingly spicy red roasted pepper gelato.
• Chicagoist points out that the second annual National Cougars Convention took place at the O'Hare Embassy Suites over the weekend, where "cougars and cubs of all ages" congregated to dance, mingle, and elect "Miss Cougar America." In other news, two genuinely confused mountain lion enthusiasts spent $500 on a plane ticket to Chicago and were reported to be "deeply perplexed" and "scarred."
