Why Philip Seymour Hoffman deserves at least 7 Oscars by now
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Before he won for The Departed, film buffs universally decried the injustice that the celebrated Martin Scorsese hadn't scored an Oscar for best director, when even Kevin Costner (Kevin Costner!) had won one. A similarly insane Oscar injustice is that Hollywood super-actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, after 19 years of shaming any other actor he's on screen with, only has one Academy Award on his mantle (for his portrayal of Truman Capote in 2005’s Capote) when he ought to be claiming at least one per year. A pox upon the Academy! The guy consistently acts his ass off, can play the bumbling idiot just as well as the cocky party animal, and, best yet, is the only man in Hollywood worthy of shelling out $9.50 just to see his obligatory "vociferously shouting at something" sequence. With Hoffman making an appearance at the Music Box Theatre on Thursday to discuss his first directing gig, Jack Goes Boating, The A.V. Club makes the case that the actor ought to be sleeping on a small mountain of Oscar statues. Here’s at least six “best supporting actor” awards he should rightfully own:
2008
The inferior winner: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight. As badass as Ledger is as The Joker, it later seemed overshadowed by the unconfirmed rumor that Hoffman will play The Penguin in the third Christopher Nolan Batman film. Which leads to another injustice: Why doesn’t Philip Seymour Hoffman have an action figure?
The more riveting PSH role: Father Brendan Flynn in Doubt. Even if his character likely commits unspeakably offensive sexual acts, it’s about time someone went toe-to-toe in a spittle-flying shouting match with Meryl Streep. You may be a wickedly talented actress, Streep, but you haven’t played a plausibly lovable character since troublemaker Jessica Lovejoy on The Simpsons.
Best scene where he yells something: “You have no right to act on your own. You have taken vows, obedience being one. You answer to us! You have no right to step outside the church.”
2007
The inferior winner: Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men. Bardem benefited from being in the year’s hottest film, and his deadly mixture of Spanish charm and menacing cold-bloodedness likely intimidated John Q. Academy Voter into choosing him, whereas Hoffman’s equally brilliant role was stuck within one of the year’s most “eh, it was kind of decent” films.
The more riveting PSH role: Gust Avrakotos in Charlie Wilson's War, a CIA operative who teams with Congressman Charlie Wilson to arm the Afghani Mujahideen with anti-aircraft missiles against the invading Soviets. Hoffman’s grouchy portrayal is certainly Oscar-worthy, but screenwriter Aaron Sorkin misses a huge opportunity by sticking to “historical accuracy” instead of allowing the acrobatically gifted Hoffman to patrol the Afghan mountainside, taking down Soviet helicopters with a rocket launcher.
Best scene where he yells something: [after smashing his boss' office window] “My loyalty? For 24 years people have been trying to kill me! People who know how. Now do you think that’s because my dad was a Greek soda-pop maker? Or do you think that's because I'm an American spy? Go fuck yourself, you fucking child!”
2004
The inferior winner: Morgan Freeman in Million Dollar Baby. No offense to Freeman, but likeable seniors nominated for Oscars are automatic winners. If Tom Brokaw, Maya Angelou, Jimmy Carter, or Ringo Starr ever manage to wrangle nominations from the Academy, they’ll be shoe-ins.
The more riveting PSH role: Sandy Lyle in Along Came Polly. Amongst a steady stream of bowel-based gags, Hoffman stands out, portraying a former teen acting star grappling with unpopularity. It culminates with him insisting on playing both Jesus and Judas in a stage version of Jesus Christ Superstar, which, ironically, would make a far better film than Along Came Polly.
Best scene where he yells something: “Is old Leland here gonna fight off a man… who goes by the last name 'Reaper,' first name 'Grim?' Or will this base-jumping, crocodile-wrestling, shark-diving, volcano-luging, bear-fighting, snake-wrangling, motocross-racing bastard die?”
2002
The inferior winner: Chris Cooper in the Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation, another great performance that we’ll choose to ignore by mentioning that Hoffman’s effort as the lead in Kaufman’s Synecdoche, New York deserved like eight Oscars in and of itself.
The more riveting PSH role: Dean Trumbell in Punch-Drunk Love. Mostly remembered as the film that revealed Adam Sandler's ability to play roles other than “mildly amusing Brooklyn everyman with limited vocabulary,” Punch-Drunk Love shows Hoffman in an unnervingly awesome climax as a mattress business owner/phone-sex pimp going berserk through a tirade over the phone. It’s safe to say that if this fake mattress commercial had made the final cut, Hoffman would be bringing home the gold.
Best scene where he yells something: “Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Will you shut up? Shut up! Shut shut shut shut shut up! (Pauses.) Shut up!”
2000
The inferior winner: Benicio Del Toro in Traffic, playing a Baja Californian police officer who looks the other way during local drug deals. With all due respect to The Wolfman, if director Steven Soderbergh wanted a truly gritty portrayal of a Mexican drug enforcement officer, he should’ve called Mr. Philip Seymour Hoffman.
The more riveting PSH role: Lester Bangs in Almost Famous. This 2000 Cameron Crowe love letter to his early career as a rock journalist could exist even without Lester Bangs, but Hoffman's portrayal of the old Creem editor-in-chief and mentor to the young, wide-eyed writer provides the extra oomph that elevates the film into "Best of '00s" territory. And no offense to his Phil Parma role in Magnolia, but Bangs is probably your best bet to dress up as Hoffman for Halloween. Just throw on your favorite “Detroit Sucks” shirt and you’re there!
Best scene where he yells something: “Well your writing is damn good. It’s a shame you missed out on rock n’ roll; it’s over. Over! You got here just in time for the death rattle, the last gasp, last grope.”
1996
The inferior winner: Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire. Cuba’s performance was mostly just pushing Tom Cruise around and yelling in his face. Anyone could do that.
The more riveting PSH role: Dustin "Dusty" Davis in Twister. What’s that? Don’t even remember Hoffman in Twister? No, he didn’t voice the F5 “finger of God” tornado at the end of the film, although that does qualify as a competent metaphor for the power of his dramatic presence. Instead, Hoffman’s “Dusty” Davis is a part of the storm chasing crew, where his apparent job is to provide comic relief to the characters that are willingly speeding towards their violent deaths in the name of minor advances to meteorological sciences.
Best scene where he yells something: “Haha! It's the wonder of nature, baby!”
