The Bucket List Wrigley Field

I have no excuse for having never seen the Cubs play at Wrigley Field. I grew up visiting my family in Chicago at least annually, and I went to school in Evanston. When I moved into the city after graduation a couple of years ago, I ended up in an apartment less than a mile from Wrigley. I’ve walked by it hundreds of times on my way elsewhere.

To be honest, I never had a burning desire to go inside. I have a basic understanding of the rules of baseball, but that’s about it. I work in, and write about, theater. The field doesn’t lack for sports fans, but nobody will judge you for not knowing who’s in the World Series, either.

Still, in a sport that practically subsists on nostalgia, nothing can top the usually hapless Cubs and their 95-year-old stadium. Their charm has only grown more potent as the remains of baseball’s good old days disappear: Fenway Park is the only other old stadium still standing, and it’s been remodeled, and the baseball’s other notorious chokers—the Red Sox and White Sox—have won championships this decade. The Cubs are the last hard-luck team still playing in an old-ass stadium. The time had come. I decided to see an afternoon game against the hated Cardinals on July 12.

11:30: I’ve been told that an authentic Cubs experience demands that I start drinking Old Style before noon, so I’m passing through the gate more than 30 minutes before the game starts. After pausing to gasp at how huge Wrigley is on the inside—at least to a newbie like me—I start up the many ramps to the upper deck.

11:36: I arrive at my seat. The view is surprisingly good up here, and I’m particularly happy I’m in the shade on this blazingly sunny day. I look at the program/scorecard I bought outside and realize I have no idea how to fill it out.

11:38: At $6.50, this is the most expensive water I’ve ever bought. Oh wait, no, it’s Old Style. Vendors in the stands round up to the nearest dollar, so I only get $13 of my $20 back. Nice trick.

11:45: I can understand maybe one-third of what the announcer is saying. I hope it isn’t important.

11:58: A couple passes by, the man in a Cardinals jersey, the woman in a Cubs jersey. Their night holds either an argument or great hate sex. Maybe both?

12:02: A boy, maybe 11 years old, sings “God Bless America” and the national anthem like he’s auditioning for American Idol.

12:08: Fearsome Cards first baseman Albert Pujols comes to the plate and is greeted with a chorus of boos from the crowd. He’s out by 12:09.

12:12: Kosuke Fukudome shows up, to cheers, and is also out almost immediately.

12:23: Micah Hoffpauir, whom I’d never heard of, bats in three runs to make the score 3-0 Cubs. I’m starting to see the attraction here—it’s amazing being in the middle of thousands of people cheering their heads off.

12:26: He’s named Milton Bradley? Like the board games? Really?

12:56: Okay, I guess Pujols knows what he’s doing. 3-2.

1:01: And Joe Thurston evens it up to 3-3. Now I’m excited.

1:07: Is the organist playing the “Meow Mix” jingle?

1:10: I leave for the men’s room. In the five minutes it takes to go and come back, I miss the top of the fourth inning. That was fast.

1:19: Water for $3.75, which turns into $4 when I get my change. Sigh.

1:21: Great hit from Ryan Theriot, and we’re at 4-3, Cubs. Looks like we might win this thing.

1:27: Pujols almost gets to second base, but gets tagged before he can make it. The guys to my left—who know of my baseball ignorance and the article I’m writing—excitedly tell me that this was an amazing play. I don’t entirely understand what just happened, but it was really exciting to watch.

1:40: Bradley walks, and the bases are loaded. Is Jeff Baker going to give us a grand slam?

1:45: Nope.

2:03: Seventh-inning stretch. I root, root, root for the Cubbies.

2:08: The organist is definitely playing the Addams Family theme. What does this have to do with baseball?

2:15: And now the Village People’s gay-cruising anthem “YMCA” comes over the loudspeakers. What is this saying about the activities in Wrigley’s locker rooms?

2:22: Two more get batted in: 7-3. It’s looking awfully good for the Cubs, and I’m leaning forward in my seat.

2:27: Two outs, bases loaded. Is Theriot going to come through?

2:28: No. But we’re still winning, by quite a bit.

2:48: And with a great catch, the last Cardinals player is out. Cubs win!

After the game, I take advantage of the special at Cozy Noodles, just south of the field on Sheffield: second entrée free with game-day ticket. A friend joins me and I find myself eating Thai food at an outside table after watching the Cubs win. Does it get better? No. I’ll definitely be back.