13. Camel, I Can See Your House From Here
The luridly painted covers of Camel's '70s albums were some of the decade's most typically awful—but when photorealism become de rigueur in the late '70s, the band followed suit with I Can See Your House From Here. Outside of Spinal Tap's "The Sun Never Sweats," few record covers have misused astronomical bodies so horribly: On it, planet Earth serves as the backdrop for a crucified astronaut. Of course, any attempt at profundity is flattened by the title's punchline. Whether you're stoned or not, though, that is pretty funny.
14. Van Der Graaf Generator, H To He, Who Am The Only One
H To He Who huh? Van Der Graaf Generator may be rightly respected as one of the most unique and intriguing of the original English prog bands, but the cover of its 1970 record is a dumbfounding hodgepodge of science fiction, neoclassicism, and some sort of clock. Or clam. Made out of testicles. The H To He portion of the title is a reference to subatomic physics, specifically "the fusion of hydrogen nuclei to form helium nuclei."
15. Captain Beyond, Sufficiently Breathless
Like the rejected cover of some Robert Anton Wilson book, the artwork from Captain Beyond's Sufficiently Breathless could pass as an ad for cheap acid and wingnut mysticism. Instead of cosmic, though, it's just plain comical. Granted, the ambulatory hand is a nice nod to Terry Gilliam's Monty Python animation, and the cross-sectioned dog predates Damien Hirst by a couple of decades. But a psychedelic cyber-clown with a corkscrew penis? "Breathless" doesn't quite cover it.
16. Kansas, Leftoverture
Captain Beyond was a minor exponent of American progressive rock, but Kansas was the king. Still, the band's dense prog didn't become truly radio-friendly until the hit "Carry On Wayward Son" from 1976's Leftoverture—the title of which remains one of pop music's worst portmanteaux. The cover is no better: A bearded composer sits frustrated at his desk, while planets and pianos and shit whirl around in the air behind him. Or is that supposed to be inside his head? Whoa, heavy.
17. Gentle Giant, Acquiring The Taste
Ah, the rock 'n' roll double entendre. Featuring a giant tongue dripping saliva into, um, some kind of flesh-colored crack, the cover and title of Gentle Giant's Acquiring The Taste are as idiotic as the band's music is sophisticated. Then again, the band did claim to draw inspiration from the French writer and libertine François Rabelais, one of the masters of dirty puns—and Rabelais himself no doubt would have gotten a cheap laugh out of the album's back cover, which reveals the fleshy object to be a piece of fruit.
18. Coheed And Cambria, Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume Two: No World For Tomorrow
As a high-school art-class final project, Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume Two: No World For Tomorrow gets solid marks for deep imagery, creativity, and muscle texture. As an album cover by a band making music in the aughts, it's nothing short of hilarious: A long-haired, ripped, shirtless dude stands on a planet that's cracking underneath him, revealing celestial bodies. His back to us, he stares at a futuristic city that's either being destroyed by or repelling meteors or possibly giant, rock-like sperm. Without even seeing his face, we know that he is strangely empowered by the whole scenario, for he is the only one who can read the cryptic sky-writing. Loosely translated: It's a phonetic alien spelling of "guffaw."
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