August 20th, 2007
13. V.I.K.I. (Virtual Interactive Kinetic Intelligence) from I, Robot (2004)
The evil perpetrated by V.I.K.I.—a supercomputer who sics a robot army on Will Smith, along with the other less-deserving members of humanity in I, Robot—stems not from a glitch or desire for self-preservation, but from the reasoning that destroying our irrevocably fucked-up species is in humankind's best interest. It's a wayward interpretation of the First Law Of Robotics, laid out by Isaac Asimov in the short stories upon which the film is loosely based: "A robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm." Sure, V.I.K.I.'s "undeniable" logic raises shadowy questions about free will and totalitarianism, but really it just gives Smith an excuse to engage in his usual badassery, snarling "You have so got to die" as he, um, injects the computer with a virus.
14. Jeff Fahey from The Lawnmower Man (1992)
In 1992, the world stood on the precipice of a technological revolution catalyzed by… er, virtual reality. (Talk about missing the mark on the eve of the Internet.) In The Lawnmower Man, Pierce Brosnan plays a scientist who sees VR as a powerful educational tool. He tests his theories on sweet, mentally disabled landscaper Jeff Fahey using rapid-fire immersion (similar to Neo's training in The Matrix), with dramatic results. But as Fahey grows smarter, he also becomes sinister: He hatches a plot to transform into electricity and upload himself into the world's computer networks. How he does this is confusing at best, but it leads to a dramatic cyber-showdown with a virtual Brosnan—and a lot of striking-yet-nonsensical animation. Cyber-Fahey wins, though, and announces his rebirth by making all the world's phones ring at once.
15. V'ger from Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
An unmanned deep-space probe from the 20th century gets reprogrammed by meddling aliens and starts gobbling up assorted fragments of the Star Trek continuity. The only thing that can stop it is… love. V'ger, the menacing "energy cloud" that gets Kirk, Spock, and McCoy off their lazy duffs and into those drapey, polo-collared '70s Starfleet uniforms, turns out to be an evolved version of the computer inside a Voyager spacecraft. After it accepts the reality of irrational stuff like emotions and God and whatnot, it merges with Stephen Collins in a blast of mystical, rainbow-colored bullshit.
16. The Matrix from The Matrix (1999)
It's hard to think of anything a computer could be or do that would be more dangerous than trapping humanity in an entire artificial reality. In a trenchant cautionary tale from 1999, future Second Life and World Of Warcraft devotees are warned to avoid plugging their limbic systems directly into their Alienware desktops while enjoying a warm, milky bath. (Some fingertip pruning may result.) The Matrix is treacherous, but like most movie computers, it's only evil because of the way it's used by its creator, The Architect. By the time Keanu comes along to smash the system from within, there's a war on between malicious fascist programs and rebel freedom-loving programs. Why do so many CGI-heavy movies hate on computers?
17. Eddie from Stealth (2005)
"Eddie," the next-gen A.I.-controlled fighter jet in the amusingly terrible Stealth, seems like the perfect flying machine: It can strike enemy targets with breathtaking speed and precision, perform aerial maneuvers that would make humans hurl, and download kick-ass Incubus songs off the Internet. But "Eddie" has been rushed through development, and it turns out that there are many things that he can't do, like follow orders from his superiors, pay attention to his wingmates, and avoid wiping out vast swaths of humanity with his nuclear payload. There's a chilling message here about how computers can be programmed with anything but a heart, but there's also Jessica Biel in a bikini. Which makes the stronger impression?
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