1. "How Soon Is Now?"
Perhaps because it's The Smiths' most recognized and recognizable song, "How Soon Is Now?" has endured countless ignoble recreations since it debuted 20 years ago. It's high time for it to retire with dignity. In spite of what bands may think, the nearly seven-minute epic isn't easy to cover, as it quickly exposes their shortcomings—few things are worse than someone trying to be Morrissey. Sadly, the song's association with the '80s and The Smiths' cool cred guarantees more ill-advised reprises down the road. See faux-lesbian Russian teen-pop duo t.A.T.u., who make it sound like a number by The Chipmunks.
2. "Revolution"
Does any Beatles song need more cover versions? It's tough to resist a great song, but apart from early covers by R&B greats like Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, and Ray Charles (and some digressions from Frank Sinatra and Elvis), does anyone actually shine new light on a Beatles hit? "Revolution" could stand in for the whole catalog, but it deserves special mention, if only for Rascal Flatts' 2007 cover for the Evan Almighty soundtrack. When the blandest possible country act is covering a song on the soundtrack to a sequel to a Jim Carrey movie, the word "revolution" shouldn't be involved in any way.
3. "Born To Be Wild"
What says "I'm a rebel who plays by my own rules" less than the Steppenwolf song that's become an "I'm a rebel who plays by my own rules" cliché? Nothing. Nobody told that to Hinder or NASCAR, who teamed up for a cover this year. But the real offenders are the thousands of bar bands who've made it into a late-set staple. There's probably one playing it to drunken yahoos as you read this.
4. "I Melt With You"
A staple of myriad "Best Of The '80s" compilations, Modern English's biggest hit has been flogged into oblivion by numerous ad campaigns, bands tapping '80s nostalgia, and Modern English itself. (The band re-recorded it for 1990's Pillow Lips.) Since the cult of the '80s developed in the mid-'90s, countless terrible versions of "I Melt With You"—particularly by shitty emo/punk bands—have assaulted listeners. Check out Bowling For Soup's version from the Sky High soundtrack, which changes the lyrics "Making love to you" to "Being friends with you" for impressionable Disney ears.
5. "All Along The Watchtower"
One source estimates that Bob Dylan has played this song 1,400 times—more than any of his others—but that number pales in comparison to the number of covers out there, by performers including Pat Boone, Dave Matthews, Heart, Tiny Tim, and virtually every jam band ever. In one regard, "All Along The Watchtower" is an argument for covers, as Jimi Hendrix's version is virtually definitive. But then you remember Heart.
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