February 13th, 2008
Fantasy Foam ($7.77)
Few phrases in the English language can flip a stomach like "frothy discharge," but that's exactly what you're getting when you lather up your lover with the consumable mess known as Fantasy Foam. Even if it ends up being more sloppy than fun, sextoyarea.com will still give you 15 free minutes of pay-per-minute online adult videos with the purchase.
Source: sextoyarea.com
Kandie Kondoms ($4.99)
While condoms are available in pretty much every shape, size, and color, their purpose always remains the same: to provide a (hopefully) impenetrable to-and-fro barrier. Kandie Kondoms take the exact opposite approach, and are specifically designed to disappear in your mouth. Or wherever. They're a bit pricey at $5 a pop, so if you're on a budget, Fruit Roll-Ups are probably just as wise a choice.
Source: ashleysextoys.com
Oral Sex Head candy ($9.95)
Oral Sex Head candy is shaped exactly like a football mouth guard, and operates on the same general principles, with one key difference—it's meant to provide protection from teeth instead of for them. This wonder product also promises to help reduce jaw fatigue and prevent dry-mouth. The tradeoff? You'll be sporting the steamy look of a sixth-grader in orthodontic headgear.
Source: bettersex.com
Tit Tax ($2)
If you're a douchebag, there are innumerable ways to announce your douchebaggery to those around you. But you'd have to search a very long time to find a clearer signal than carrying a box of breast-shaped mints in your pocket.
Source: cantender.com
Lick Me Licker ($16.99)
My Beloved's Garden is a website that promises to "provide a safe, non-pornographic place to shop for all your Christian sex toys and romance needs while keeping Jesus at the center of your marriage." Fair enough. Still, you may want to consider the Second Coming, and whether He'll want to beam you up for eternity after learning so much about the flavored gels you lap off each other's genitals.
Source: mybelovedsgarden.net « Previous | 1 | 2
- Comments