Like The Ravyns once sang, I was raised on the radio. But I haven't been a regular listener for many years. By missing the radio for so long I feel like I've been missing an important piece of the present. So every month I download the Top 20 songs from the latest Billboard's Hot 100, and grade them, A.V. Club style. This week I'm looking at (the already out-of-date) November 3, 2007 chart.
(Regular readers will notice that about half the songs in this month's column were written about last month. It might seem redundant, but it also mirrors how we listen to the radio: you hear songs for months and months, and your opinions change with the repetition. If I had anything more to say about a song this month I said it. If I didn't, I didn't. Cool? Let's pop!)
20. Daughtry, "All Over You"
For better or worse, Pearl Jam's Ten is still a huge influence on America's best-selling rock bands, a fact confirmed once again when the latest record by current growl-master general Nickelback crossed the six-million sold mark (which is like 20 million in the age of downloads). Daughtry is another nu-grunge act, but it wants to be Candlebox—a knock-off of a knock-off that's poppier and wussier than the Ten wannabes, and more tolerable in small doses. (Unlike Chad Kroeger, former American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry can actually sing.) The woman-done-me-wrong ballad "All Over You" encapsulates Daughtry's appeal—it's Coldplay for guys in white backward hats. Grade: B.
19. Maroon 5, "Wake Up Call"
You might think you hate Maroon 5, but you really just hate singer Adam Levine, a self-described "male slut" whose breath probably smells like Axe body spray. In "Wake Up Call" (or any Maroon 5 song, really) Levine strikes a classic pop stud pose: his words express indignation over a romantic betrayal—Levine actually shoots the "other man in my bed" in the chorus—but his delivery drips with pure sleaze. His ultimate goal isn't some high-falutin' artistic catharsis over lost love but getting in your pants, ladies. It's an effective songwriting device in more ways than one, I'm sure. Grade: B.
18. Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil' Kim, "Let It Go"
It's no surprise that several entries in this week's Top 20 tackle one of the great pop song subjects, infidelity. While most songs on the chart are sung from the point of view of the cheated—Daughtry was built up and tore down like an abandoned house a few songs ago, but he's doing fine now, thanks—Cole tries to steer her friend out of a bad relationship in "Let It Go." Which makes me feel bad about cheating on Cole whenever I hear this song—you don't invite Missy Elliott to appear on your record if you don't want her to walk away with listeners, though. Missy's "Daaaaamn, that's hot" is the only thing that really sticks here. Grade: B-. (Same as last month)
17. Nickelback, "Rock Star"
When I wrote about "Rock Star" last month I wondered why bands write songs warning people about how tough the rock life is—are they trying to help us or prevent future competition? Upon further review, "Rock Star" is a thoroughly grunge-ian cautionary tale about the emptiness of major label success, except Kroeger obviously enjoys the trappings of stardom more than Eddie Vedder ever did and isn't above sharing some tantalizing details about the Playboy bunnies he's banging and the drug dealer on speed dial he may or may not be calling 24/7. Working class rock stars like Kroeger have to walk a thin line between glamorizing behind-the-music hedonism and paying lip service to regular ol' down-to-earth Joe Sixpack values, and with "Rock Star" he keeps his balance. But I still hate it when he sings, "I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion." Grade: C+ (Up from C-)
16. matchbox twenty, "How Far We've Come"
As I noted last month, "How Far We've Come" sounds a lot like Bruce Springsteen—the opening drums echo "Light Of Day," and the piano-based riff could be pilfered from Side 3 of The River. The lyrics are also open to Springsteen-style misinterpretation—"I believe the world's is burning to the ground/oh well, I guess we're going to find out" is natural born propaganda for irony-deficient Republicans just as surely as "Born In The U.S.A." was. Grade: B+. (Up from B)
15. Pink, "Who Knew"
The spunky Pink of old makes a brief guest star appearance in this pale "Since U Been Gone" re-write: "If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone/I'd stand up and punch them out, because they're all wrong," she sings. Threat of violence aside, I still think "Who Knew" is a by-the-numbers break-up song, right down to the "emotional" rise in Pink's voice in the string-soaked climax. I'll say it again: Pink should be recording fake punk songs, not fake Kelly Clarkson numbers. Grade: C. (Same as last month)
14. 50 Cent Featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, "Ayo Technology"
If 50 Cent wasn't so lazy in the studio, I'd feel bad ripping "Ayo Technology," maybe his worst single yet. The Kanye sales square-off really diminished him—he has become Encore-era Eminem, relying solely on centrifugal force from his past success to sell records. But at least "Mosh" sounded alive—"Ayo Technology" is an aural dirt nap. Grade: D. (Same as last month)
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