October 16th, 2007
1. Elvis Presley
The most famous comeback story in pop culture should end with Elvis back on top following the 1968 television special that found him simultaneously returning to his roots and finding his way forward with the wrenching, socially relevant "If I Can Dream." Vowing not to do music that didn't mean something to him, he kept the train rolling for another couple of years, releasing some of the best music of his career in 1969, and through some dynamic concert appearances in the early '70s. Then he started to slip back into old, lazy, abusive habits, and… Well, everyone probably already knows the rest.
2. Burt Reynolds
In his '70s and '80s heyday, Burt Reynolds was the undisputed king of redneck action-comedies. Post-Boogie Nights, he's become the king of blown opportunities. Reynolds' Oscar-nominated turn as a paternal porn kingpin in Boogie Nights revealed a new depth and melancholy in his persona. But he failed to capitalize on his Boogie Nights buzz, opting instead for quick, easy paydays in projects like with telltale titles like Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business and Hard Time: The Premonition. It isn't exactly a promising sign that Reynolds' most high-profile upcoming role is in In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, a Uwe Boll-directed video-game adaptation. Those are always good, right?
3. Jane Fonda
After abandoning acting for the more satisfying gig of being a colorful billionaire's wife, Jane Fonda limped back onto the screen with an excruciatingly awkward deer-in-the-headlights turn as an evil career woman in 2005's Monster In Law. Though the repellent Meet The Parents knockoff was a modest commercial success, it seemingly left the venerable thespian nowhere to go but up. Yet 2007's Georgia Rule equaled Monster-In-Law's cynical, mercenary miscalculation. Then again, it could be worse: Fonda almost ended up playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Elizabethtown.
4. Ma$e
When Ma$e announced his return to hip-hop following a Jesus-induced early retirement, fans wondered what his comeback album would sound like. Would he be working with high-profile fan Kanye West? Would Ma$e's spiritual obsessions lead him in a gospel direction? Ma$e ended up disappointing just about everyone with 2004's unimaginatively titled Welcome Back, a highly forgettable album of generic, materialist, overwhelmingly secular dance-rap virtually indistinguishable from his early albums. He returned to his previously unmentioned, grimy Murder Ma$e roots on an appearance on the Get Rich Or Die Tryin' soundtrack, prompting hip-hop heads to wonder which label will release his next flop: old home Bad Boy, or new suitor G-Unit.
5. The Stooges
Good will toward Iggy Pop peaked in the new century, when revisionist historians somewhat justifiably declared that decades of horrid Iggy solo albums no longer outweighed his brief flash of brilliance in The Stooges. Into a strange cultural atmosphere where Stooges T-shirts could be bought at Urban Outfitters, Pop and crew reunited, drafted Minutemen's Mike Watt, and set out to record The Weirdness. Comeback albums happen every day, but few bands approach them with a spotless discography that ended more than 30 years prior. There was reason to believe the record might even wind up less than embarrassing; after all, The Stooges' original sound is primordial enough to be timeless, and an aging Iggy should've been able to conjure darkness and perversion with far more authority than his younger self. What happened next is textbook irony: The Weirdness wasn't weird at all. In fact, it sounded like yet another horrid Iggy solo album. Live shows notwithstanding—onstage, Pop still wallops—it's time to put a fork in this guy. Or at least keep him out of the recording studio.
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