As evidenced by the 1/2 Hour News Hour, conservative humor is a strange calculus of college-sketch-group-member understudies plus Monica Lewinsky jokes divided by the number of unneccessary words Dennis Miller wedges into any given sentence. In short, it's not funny.

Bill O'Reilly, however, is frequently very funny—just not on purpose. The "M-F-er, where's my iced tea?" thing? Hilarious. Calling your book Kids Are Americans Too? Hysterical. Selling a knock-off Members Only Jacket with a "No Spin" patch for $160? I am laughing so hard I can barely type.

But tonight on his show, Bill O'Reilly wants to try and make people laugh (or laff) on purpose. How? By challenging his audience to remember everything about a puppet character from a sitcom that was popular nearly two decades ago. That's right: He's "debating" Alf. Why? That is a mystery.

Apparently, Bill O'Reilly has his finger pressed so tightly on the pop cultural pulse, he can't tell that he's holding the wrist of a corpse.

Between this and Mike Huckabee's Chuck Norris/Rick Flair endorsements, it is safe to assume that all conservatives are currently living in the year 1988. That's the only plausible explanation for their topical humor lag.