The Hater
 
Evidence that Dina Lohan (a woman who is roughly 70% of all the disgusting things in the world, and also mother to Lindsay Lohan) is a selfless single mom (as outlined in GQ, via Goldenfiddle):

1. Dina Lohan isn't just some over-tanned, attention-hungry crazy party mom eager to push her two daughters into the spotlight just so she can jump in next to them. She's also a whiny mom who complains about her perception to GQ magazine in advance of her new E! reality show:

There's this perception that I'm this crazy party mom, which has never been the truth.

2. Dina Lohan is relatable! She has problems with stupid E! reality show producers--just like all single moms:

I'm a single mom. Other moms can relate to having to work, to having the same problems I deal with. The producers wanted to set the show in Las Vegas. I didn't want that.

3. In fact, Dina Lohan does everything other single moms do: like hang out with her fellow moms, envy Joe Simpson, manage her two daughters' careers by going to clubs, and endure relentless persecution simply because she's a mother:

I hang out with moms! Yes, I'm Lindsay's manager. Yes, I have to show up at events. Yes, sometimes they are at clubs. But Joe Simpson doesn't get ridiculed--because he's a manager and he's respected.

GQ: Why do they ridicule you, then?

Dina Lohan: It's because I'm a mother.

4. God is on Dina Lohan's side. Well, either God, or flimsy platitudes about God that are used as justification for essentially selling her youngest daughter to E!:

GQ: Lindsay has had a tough road. Why subject Ali to the same temptations?

Dina Lohan: I'm not going to close a door where God opened a window for Ali.

5. Like all selfless single moms, Dina Lohan will fight for her daughters, especially if they're making her money--even if that means getting a reality show on E!. Is there anything she won't do for those kids?

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