Did you wake up on Saturday morning, bloated with ego, voice still scratchy from screaming "Fat ass!" at regular intervals the night before, your Beyoncé wig still sitting dull and discarded on the desk where you spent most of the night self googling your name and the phrase "emmy winner," hoping that the resulting ego massage would eventually lull you to sleep? No? Well, then you're probably not Tyra Banks (Look in the mirror and check for eye-smiles just to make sure.)

On Friday night, while most of America was off not seeing The Love Guru, Tyra Banks, Rachael Ray, that woman from The View, and various nameless, mannequin-faced soap stars were being whisked through the K-Mart style lounge like the daytime stars that they are for the 2008 Daytime Emmy Awards. It was a night no one will ever forget, mostly because they didn't watch it in the first place.

After exploring such topics as "When Tyra Banks Dresses Up Like A Homeless Person, It's Not Easy For Tyra Banks," "Tyra Banks Says Kiss Tyra Banks's Fat Ass," and "Tyra Banks Has An Underwear Party For Some Reason," The Tyra Banks Show was nominated for Outstanding Talk Show (Informative). Her competition (some bilingual talk show, and tired old Dr. Phil) was fierce, but ultimately the sheer volume of information about Tyra Banks that The Tyra Banks Show provides could not be denied, and she won the Emmy. Clip, including a superfluous, and all-too-convincing "My boyfriend's gonna kill me!" quote from some anonymous soap star, below:

"Thank you, Mama, for your sweat glands of steel!"

If you look closely you can see Tyra's patented "From now on, everyone has to say, 'Emmy-winning Tyra Banks'" eye-smile, a look she's been practicing since childhood.