Tagline:
"A one-way ticket to Hell... and beyond."
Plot:
On a night train set to crash at dawn, "Mr. Satan" and a white-suited God discuss the ultimate fate of various humans. As if the presence of deities weren't exciting enough, in another train compartment, a rock band energetically lip-syncs while wearing regrettable mid-'80s fashions. Satan and God look at three "cases." In the first, a sex-crazed groom drives off a bridge, killing his wife. He's then taken to a creepy sanitarium, where he's forced to lure buxom women back to the hospital, at which point they're strapped to a bed, disrobed, and brutally murdered by Night Court funnyman Richard Moll. In the next case, a porn actress/musician/carnie and her new boyfriend join The Death Club, a sinister organization devoted to flirting with death. A typical evening of death-based entertainment finds them wired to an evil computer that makes suspiciously Pac-Man-like noises before it electrocutes a delighted member. In the third case, the devil's emissaries—primarily a foppish, eternally young Nazi—wreak havoc on Earth. A devout wife learns that she must stop the Nazi-demon by sticking his heart in a box made of wood from Jesus' cross.
Key scenes:
In the third segment, Moll plays a Nobel Prize winner who takes to the airwaves to deliver some bad news: God is dead, if He ever existed at all. Also, Jesus did not exist. Stop-motion animation later makes Moll appear to turn into a cheap puppet before he's burned alive on a cross, just as shoddy model work makes the train appear to turn into a brittle plastic toy immediately before it crashes.
Can easily be distinguished by:
Twilight Zone-style narration, Moll's dual roles.
Sign that it was made in 1985:
A headband-sporting rocker busts out with some breakdancing moves.
Timeless message:
Satan (who was played by "Lu Sifer," if the credits are to be believed) is real, just as The Louvin Brothers asserted in 1960.
Memorable quotes:
"My way is much more fun," Mr. Satan gloats, as he explains why evil rocks. "I offer adultery, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, greed, rape, murder, war, all the fun things. That's why you're losing so many."
- Comments