Lady Terminator

Year releasted: 1988

by Nathan Rabin
December 1st, 2004

Also Known As:
Nasty Hunter, or The Revenge Of The South Seas Queen

Tagline:
"She mates... then she terminates."

Plot:
An evil, sexually voracious queen kills her partners during sex with the aid of a bloodthirsty snake she keeps in her nether regions. But the queen's 100th husband not only pleases her sexually, but also transforms her snake into a dagger, explaining, "You are my wife now. I want you to stop the killings!" Enraged, she swears revenge on his great-granddaughter. A century passes, but the legend of the nefarious South Seas Queen persists, doggedly pursued by a fetching/ annoying anthropology student (Barbara Anne Constable) who becomes the revenge-crazed reincarnation of the Queen when a snake enters her genitals, forcing her to indulge an insatiable bloodlust. Faster than a lawyer can say "flagrant violation of international copyright law," Constable transforms into the female equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger's trademark role, an unstoppable, emotionless, leather-clad killing machine with an endless supply of ammunition.

Key scenes:
At one point, Constable tracks down a book about the South Seas Queen, only to have its mysterious keeper warn her about the danger of pursuing the legend. Irritated, Constable fires back, "Come on, in this day and age, you speak of legends? I'm an anthropologist, huh?" Later, Constable seeks out the South Seas Queen's underground lair, in spite of similar warnings from an old sea captain who annoys her by repeatedly calling her "lady." "Will you stop calling me 'lady'?" she demands. "I'm not a lady, I'm an anthropologist!" Still later, a possessed Constable emerges from fiery wreckage and shoots laser beams from her eyes, albeit not while pointing out that she's an anthropologist.

Can easily be distinguished by:
A trademark blend of South Seas legend, nonstop sex, gratuitous nudity, porn-style production values, shameless plundering of The Terminator, and crappy dubbing.

Sign that it was made in 1988:

Its nascent pop stars' fondness for big hair, headbands, and cheesy synth-pop.

Timeless message:
Hell hath no fury like a reincarnated South Seas Queen scorned, especially one with a serpent residing in her womb.

Memorable quotes:
In a pricelessly stilted sendoff to a puff piece, a reporter chirps, "Well, I'm sure you've all met Erica, a sweet girl who is going to be doing a rock show tonight. I'm Jill Peterson for Channel 6. Back to you, Jack!"