Killer Nun

Year releasted: 1978

by Keith Phipps
December 15th, 2004

Tagline:
"From the secret files of the Vatican!"

Plot:
Middle-aged nun Anita Ekberg is kept busy at the geriatric hospital connected to her convent, but somehow she finds the time to cultivate a morphine addiction, fend off the advances of her roommate (Paola Morra, Playboy Italy's Playmate Of The Month, September 1978) and sneak into town for the occasional round of drunken sex with strangers. But does she have enough time to commit the murders that follow in her wake?

Key scenes:
Based, according to the noncommittal opening statement, on "actual events that took place in a Central European country not many years ago," Killer Nun hops from one Ekberg-gone-crazy moment to the next. Whether she's obsessing over the notion that she has cancer, smashing a patient's false teeth, or exhausting the oldsters in a marathon workout session, she's clearly one nutty nun. But is she a killer? A new doctor (one-time Andy Warhol superstar Joe Dallesandro) seems to think so, but Morra's promise of hot nun-on-doctor sex keeps him quiet. But does Morra have a secret of her own? (Answer: yes.)

Can easily be distinguished by:
The '70s produced a fair number of nunsploitation films, but only one features a star each from La Dolce Vita, Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, and The Third Man (Alida Valli, as Ekberg's mother superior).

Sign that it was made in 1978:

On one trip to town, Ekberg briefly considers bedding a goateed man wearing a beige leisure suit.

Timeless message:
Old people, particularly those in unnamed Central European countries, should at all costs avoid nursing homes staffed by killer nuns.

Memorable quotes:
"Beats me why you took the veil," a lecherous doctor tells Morra. "It's such a waste for someone with a figure like yours. I bet you'd be a real turn-on in a bikini, huh?"