Plot:
In a curiously empty Oakland, the streets are buzzing with anticipation about the imminent return of hometown rap hero MC Hammer—who, as star, co-writer, co-choreographer, and even co-editor of Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em: The Movie, humbly depicts his own arrival as an event of supreme cosmic importance. Alas, it hasn't all been gypsy pants and church sing-alongs in Oakland since Hammer's rise to superstardom, as a nefarious drug dealer is using children to peddle his wares. But there's hope: Hammer also learns that a fellow named "Reverend Pressure" (also played by Hammer) is electrifying audiences with his show-stopping performances. After serenading a dance-club vixen, Hammer tries to impart some black-history lessons to street urchins, but he's rudely interrupted by drug dealers turning the block into a war zone. Filled with righteous anger, Hammer and his posse confront the drug dealer and bully him into throwing a massive benefit concert for the community, featuring a climactic performance by Hammer.
Key scenes:
While Hammer nods reverently from the pew, his preachin' doppelgänger jumps, twitches spastically, dances, mugs, and shouts out a twitchy, borderline incomprehensible sermon/rant about gossiping church folks, the power of faith, and why no one should speak ill of the gospel-singing Winans family. Later, a drug dealer accuses Hammer of traveling the world, "tripping and flipping," while the dealer's dirty drug money helped feed families and support the church. Before they can conclusively settle their drug debate, Hammer departs for a dance studio, where young children he introduces as "future posse members" engage in some disturbingly sexualized dance routines.
Can easily be distinguished by:
It's that rare pop-music ego trip that's too legit to quit shoving a moralistic pro-Jesus, pro-Hammer, anti-drug message down its audience's throat.
Sign that it was made in 1990: The film's immersion in full-blown Hammer-mania thoroughly carbon-dates it.
Timeless message:
Just say no! Also, Hammer's the man, not unlike the hero of that show Hammerman.
Memorable quotes:
Late into his convulsive ramble, the Reverend reveals his clever strategy for luring youngsters to church: "The kids come in to hear my DJ, as they say out there, 'get busy!' But while they are waiting on my DJ to 'get busy,' they have to hear the word of God!"
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