Tagline:
"Out of the garbage pail and into your heart."
Plot:
In this feature-film adaptation of the mid-'80s trading-card fad that parodied the already-fading Cabbage Patch Kids craze, Mackenzie Astin stars as a timid youth menaced by a group of suspiciously mature-looking bullies. Astin's only respite from harassment and pocket-money thievery is his job at a junk shop run by kindly magician Anthony Newley, who dispenses advice freely, but warns Astin against exploring a mysterious garbage container cryptically called "Pandora's Pail." Eventually, the pail gets knocked over, and the eponymous trash-receptacle-inhabiting youths—who apparently came to Earth in a garbage-pail-like spaceship—escape and come to Astin's aid. When not stealing a Pepsi truck, passing gas, or vomiting, the Garbage Pail Kids help Astin pursue the bully-dating, fashion-designing skank of his dreams (Katie Barberi) by giving him a gold-lamé-accented jacket. Seeing dollar signs in the Kids' eclectic fashions, Barberi tricks Astin into getting the Kids to design a whole fashion-show lineup, only to double-cross him by getting the Kids locked up in the State Home For The Ugly.
Key scenes:
Astin gently rejects the unwanted romantic advances of one of the female Kids, who asks him if he wants to "suck face." After Astin requests 12 new outfits to give Barberi, the Kids head into an area delineated "Non-Union Sweat Shop" and work while singing a saccharine ditty with the repeated chorus line "We can do anything by working with each other," possibly sending out some sort of pro-teamwork message in the process.
Can easily be distinguished by:
It's the ill-considered kids' movie populated by grotesque creatures resembling feral Muppets that isn't Ron Howard's 2000 version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
Sign that it was made in 1987:
A preponderance of animal-print outfits, Spandex, and big hair. Also, its belief that a feature film featuring the Garbage Pail Kids might be commercially viable.
Timeless message:
Those who cruelly exploit the labor and ingenuity of sartorially savvy child-freaks from outer space will come to regret it when their big fashion show devolves into violent, flatulent chaos.
Memorable quotes:
"To be blessed with unusual features is—an adventure!" Newley diplomatically proclaims.
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