Zombie High

Year releasted: 1987

by Keith Phipps
February 26th, 2003

In the 1980s, as old social codes crumbled, many previously exclusionary institutions opened up to outsiders. In Zombie High, Virginia Madsen takes advantage of this phenomenon by enrolling in the previously all-male Ettinger Academy, a generations-old school known for turning out top-ranking politicians and other elite members of society. But, as Madsen's boyfriend James Wilder suspects, Ettinger houses secrets beyond a student body that already seems deep into its 20s. At first, Madsen notices nothing odd; she's having too much fun getting to know roommate Sherilyn Fenn and polka-dot-clad rebel Scott Coffey, and too distracted by the classical music pumped into every corner of the school to spot any strangeness. More distractions mount, as she attracts the attention of two men: sweaty science teacher Richard Cox (who attempts to woo her with a life-size version of the Pinpressions metal-portrait novelty popularized by Spencer Gifts) and a rebellious senator's son who disappears after a classroom freakout, only to reappear as a super-obedient overachiever. Meanwhile, Wilder does some investigating, and discovers that Ettinger was founded by a "psycho" who was thrown out of the army for scalping Indians. Eventually, Madsen stumbles on a secret lab filled with half-lobotomized students. Later, Cox reveals that it's all part of a scheme in which the dusty powers-that-be live forever by removing portions of younger generations' brains. (This may or may not be intended as political commentary.) Though it means losing his own life, Cox opts to help Madsen bring down the Ettinger elite, and he reveals that the piped-in music keeps the student body in a constantly pliant state. The solution: Replacing the Bach with the rock—specifically, with a lawsuit-inviting homage to "Fight For Your Right (To Party)" called "Kiss My Butt," which plays as Wilder drives Madsen off the premises and back to the conformity-free world of public high school.