Mean Mother

Year releasted: 1973

by Keith Phipps
February 14th, 2002

Of the many woes faced by veterans of the war in Vietnam, the threat of European organized-crime syndicates and international jewel thieves may rank pretty low, but that doesn't mean it should be ignored. The 1973 film Mean Mother bravely tackles the issue, following the paths of two American soldiers, one black (Clifton Brown), the other white (Dennis Safren). Stationed in a portion of Vietnam that eerily resembles Southern California, the two decide to flee the war after Brown rescues Safren from danger for the umpteenth time. "Lay it on me, soul brother. You bailed me out yet again," Safren says by way of thanks. But soon, Brown explains that he doesn't have enough soul to keep them together, and they go their separate ways: Brown leaves for Spain and Safren heads to Rome, donning the clever pseudonym "Joe Smith." Trouble waits wherever they go, however. After rescuing a Spanish beauty from the local Mafia, Brown becomes a target himself, while Safren's new job smuggling rare collectibles puts him in near-constant danger. Is it any wonder that instead of seeing the sights, both characters opt for the safety of soundstage-like apartments? Eventually, having overcome his prejudice against the soulless, Brown decides to visit Safren in Rome, hooking up with old flame Tracy King in the process. "You're a clown, but I dig you... You make me feel like a woman again," King says, shortly before celebrating their reunion with a passionate round of lovemaking. Meanwhile, Safren has begun a romance of his own with Luciana Paluzzi, but a job helping a pretty ballerina escape "the commies" keeps getting in the way. Danger, intrigue, and double-crosses follow, interrupted only by an extensive scene of King bathing, presumably to encourage filmgoers' own good hygiene. Eventually, Safren and Brown decide to escape to Canada with their girlfriends in tow, but their Euromobster foes have other ideas. When a leather-bikini-clad gangland moll fails to distract Brown from his mission, the Yanks' foes resort to kidnapping King and killing Paluzzi. King uses her feminine wiles to escape by seducing a lustful John Holmes lookalike, but a saddened Safren decides to turn himself over to the American authorities. Brown, however, has his heart set on a life of potent beer and bilingual road signs, and after engaging in a tense one-bad-guy-at-a-time smackdown with his enemies, he hits the road with King in tow. "Baby, nothing's gonna keep us from Canada now," the mean mother says as they hit the road. And nothing does.