For games of chance to succeed, they have to be unbeatable. Standbys like poker and blackjack remain popular casino moneymaking ventures because human brainpower can't gimmick them. As Las Vegas Weekend opens, bespectacled nerd Barry Hickey thinks he's found a solution: Don't rely on humans. Combining the computing muscle of the Wang with the ultra-fast problem-solving of the Apple II, Hickey devises a never-fail blackjack formula, much to the chagrin of heavily accented professor Ray Dennis Steckler. "For someone with IQ of 200, you are an idiot," says Steckler, who can't see any practical application to an infallible blackjack system. But Hickey's sexually frustrated girlfriend Vickie Benson hits on an idea: Why not use it to gamble? After Benson packs him off to Las Vegas, Hickey wanders around while what sounds like an Atari video-game score plays in the background. Then he settles in for a night of gambling. Almost immediately, he falls in with the wrong element—a washed-up gambler (Jace Damon) and a washed-up boxer (Macka Foley). Through a series of montage sequences, they learn to appreciate Hickey's winning abilities, though they're visibly boggled when he informs them it involves "the mathematics of infinity... a place where time and space stand still." More montage sequences follow, and soon Hickey is forgetting the faithful Benson, playing strip blackjack with women of questionable virtue, and bedding dancers with names like Rosa and Regina. The latter, played by Kimberlee Kaiser, is still on hand with her tongue down Hickey's throat when Benson makes her inevitable return. "Well, which is it?" Kaiser demands. "The gorgeous, glamorous starlet from Las Vegas, or the brokenhearted girl from back home?" Hickey responds with a face usually only seen on constipated toddlers, as the brokenhearted Benson flees. As if on cue, Hickey's luck turns sour. Sequences of despondent walking take the place of gambling montages, until, days later, out of money and out of luck, Hickey returns to his hotel room, where he's surprised to find Benson waiting for him in bed. Naturally, they resolve their differences in the most logical way possible: slow-motion boning set to cheesy synth music.
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