The Berkowitzes
Berkowitz vs. Berkowitz
by Nathan Rabin
August 4th, 1999
This has been a big year for unbearable men with the last name Berkowitz. First, writer-director Myles Berkowitz released the monumentally irritating pseudo-documentary 20 Dates—out on video this week, it showcases his pitiful attempts to find love by going on 20 mostly staged dates—while July saw the release of Summer Of Sam, Spike Lee's excellent film about '70s serial killer David Berkowitz. To help clear up the confusion, The Onion presents this chart to help you tell the two famous Berkowitzes apart.
David Berkowitz
- Unpleasant, morally abhorrent, socially retarded serial killer
- Sexual dysfunction made him kill six women
- Shot unsuspecting young women with handgun because of mental problems and professional burnout
- In 1999, Spike Lee made a film about him
- Blamed psychotic, antisocial behavior on voices inside his head and angry, barking dogs
- Hatred of women caused him to kill six of them
- Psychologists describe him as a delusional, socially backward misfit
- Believed he wasn't a misogynist, despite abundance of evidence to the contrary
- Only sexual experience in life was with a prostitute
- Release of film about Berkowitz caused families of victims to relive traumatic memories of the killing spree
- Unpleasant, morally abhorrent, socially retarded filmmaker
- Sexual dysfunction made him write and direct film about women that made audiences and critics want to kill him
- Shot unsuspecting young women with a movie camera because of mental problems and professional frustration
- In 1999, made a film that made audiences want to drive a spike into his heart
- Blames psychotic, antisocial behavior on angry, barking producer, who is heard but never seen
- Hatred of women caused him to make horrible film
- Friends and ex-wife describe him as a delusional, socially backward asshole
- Believes he isn't a misogynist, despite abundance of evidence to the contrary
- Only believable sexual experience he has in film is with woman his producer paid to sleep with him
- Video release of 20 Dates will cause viewers to relive traumatic memories of Berkowitz's obnoxious braying