Eye on Allen

by Keith Phipps, Nathan Rabin
November 25th, 1998

If Woody Allen's new film, Celebrity, seems a bit familiar, there's a good reason: Almost all of Allen's films since his much-publicized break-up with Mia Farrow have had similar plots, characters, and recurring themes. With few exceptions, Allen has moved toward a more adult style, and, as a result, has received considerable acclaim as America's most respected and venerated chronicler of hookers and blow jobs. Here's a brief guide to the Woody Allen of the mid-'90s.

Mighty Aphrodite (1995)

Allen/Allen Surrogate : Woody Allen

Important Blow-Job Scenes: Numerous references, but none occur onscreen

Women With Whom Allen Or Allen Surrogate Has (Or Has Had) Sexual Relations: Helena Bonham Carter, Mira Sorvino

Film's Explanation For Allen Or Allen Surrogate's Sexual Magentism: None

Are Hookers Involved? Yes

Allen Index: 2:2

Cultural References To Overcompensating For Allen Having Dropped Out Of College: Sophocles

Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

Allen/Allen Surrogate : Woody Allen, Ed Norton

Important Blow-Job Scenes: None

Women With Whom Allen Or Allen Surrogate Has (Or Has Had) Sexual Relations: Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore, Goldie Hawn

Film's Explanation For Allen Or Allen Surrogate's Sexual Magentism: Allen creepily uses private psychiatric information to bed Roberts

Are Hookers Involved? No

Allen Index: 0:0

Cultural References To Overcompensating For Allen Having Dropped Out Of College: Djuna Barnes, Tintoretto

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Allen/Allen Surrogate : Woody Allen, Richard Benjamin, Tobey Maguire, Stanley Tucci

Important Blow-Job Scenes: Two

Women With Whom Allen Or Allen Surrogate Has (Or Has Had) Sexual Relations: Judy Davis, Elisabeth Shue, Hazelle Goodman, Asian prostitute, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kirstie Alley, Demi Moore, Amy Irving

Film's Explanation For Allen Or Allen Surrogate's Sexual Magentism: Beautiful women fling themselves at Allen because, even though he did not finish college, he is still a very, very smart man and a brilliant artist.

Are Hookers Involved? Yes

Allen Index: 7:1

Cultural References To Overcompensating For Allen Having Dropped Out Of College: Freud, Dante, Hillel, Bergman, Proust, Sophocles, Beckett

Celebrity (1998)

Allen/Allen Surrogate : Kenneth Branagh

Important Blow-Job Scenes: Two

Women With Whom Allen Or Allen Surrogate Has (Or Has Had) Sexual Relations: Melanie Griffith, Judy Davis, Winona Ryder, Famke Janssen

Film's Explanation For Allen Or Allen Surrogate's Sexual Magentism: Women are drawn to Branagh's collection of Allen-derived tics, mannerisms and insecurities

Are Hookers Involved? Yes

Allen Index: 2:3 (prediciton)

Cultural References To Overcompensating For Allen Having Dropped Out Of College: Beowulf, Chaucer