AVC: Really? Like on the Emmy awards?
GG: That was another case where I got in a lot of trouble. I was a presenter. It was right after Pee-wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in a theater, and I went on and said, "If masturbation is a crime, then I should be on death row." I said, "By age 14, I was already Al Capone," and "How exactly did they do it, did they dust for prints?" [Laughs.] I got into a lot of trouble for that. They censored it.
AVC: They cut it.
GG: Yeah, they cut it from the thing. And the producers were going on the air and sending out apologies. Some critics said it was "a sneak attack on the unsuspecting American public." [Laughs.] Then, a short time later, Jerry Seinfeld does a masturbation episode that is looked upon like a classic of television. But me? I was responsible for killing people. And the funny thing is, more people ended up seeing it because it was censored. Every news show would pick it up and they would introduce it as a horrible moment that doesn't belong on television, and then they would broadcast the entire thing. "It's okay, because we're a news show. We're not happy showing this, but we have to."
AVC: Did you think that episode of Seinfeld was accepted because he's Seinfeld, while you have a dirtier reputation?
GG: I'm sure it didn't hurt. After the Pee-wee Herman joke, every report was calling me "dirty-mouthed comic Gilbert Gottfried." But then, after that, I did an HBO special—with no restrictions—and I went totally clean. Most of the time, my set is really clean. I mean, I've done Disney corporate events.
AVC: But it seems when you get into trouble, you fall back on raunchy. Like the night of the Hefner Friars Club Roast.
GG: Well, that was a very peculiar night, because it was shortly after Sept. 11, so there was a very weird feeling in the room. And I remember that whole time period was very strange, because no one knew how to react. There was this whole thing like "Show biz is coming to a close, and no one can ever do comedy; no one can ever do anything frivolous." I forget if it was the Oscar or the Emmy awards coming up right after that. In deference, I guess, to all those who perished in the World Trade Center, they decided they would still hold the awards show, but not in fancy outfits. [Laughs.]
So at the Roast, I just went up there, and I was doing well 'til I hit a snag in the road. I wanted to be the first one. At any tragic event that happens, there's always about five jokes that seem to be everywhere all at once. I wanted to be one of the first, so mine was "I have to leave early tonight. I have to catch a plane to L.A. Unfortunately, they couldn't get me a direct flight. We have to make a stop at the Empire State Building." And that was like, you know, groans from the audience. Boos. One guy yelled out "Too soon!" I guess I should have waited five minutes.
AVC: And then you told the Aristocrats joke.
GG: Yeah, I was still up there, you know. Before that, I was doing dirty jokes too, so I just basically continued with dirty jokes.
AVC: So what made you think of that joke at that time?
GG: I always sort of enjoyed it. Cause, you know, it's one of those be-as-disgusting-as-possible type jokes. It was always fun. But, I mean, the joke itself isn't really that funny.
AVC: No, it's really not. That's what's funny about The Aristocrats. It's this whole movie about a joke... but the joke kinda sucks.
GG: I think a lot has been made about it. Like saying it's some deep, dark secret of show business. To me, it's a dick joke, you know?
AVC: The movie makes it seem like it's some kind of secret handshake.
GG: Yeah, it's like there's some secret comics society that meets on a mountaintop somewhere.
AVC: There isn't, though... right?
GG: No, we meet in a cave. Comics aren't in that good of physical condition to climb to a mountaintop.
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