Let's Do It!

Year releasted: 1982

by Noel Murray
August 23rd, 2005

Tagline: "The movie that couldn't be made in 3-D."

Plot: Greg Bradford is a bland, blond UCLA sophomore who cares so deeply for his 17-year-old girlfriend Britt Helfer that he's incapable of making love to her. Every time they get started, Bradford gets so uptight about giving her an orgasm that he loses his erection. (Apparently oral sex isn't an option.) Helfer demands that he get it together in time for her birthday, so Bradford seeks out a string of prostitutes, sex-ed teachers, and licensed sexual surrogates, all of whom think the key to solving his problem is making him dislike them, so he won't care about their pleasure. But he's so touched by their kindness that he inevitably goes limp again.

Key scenes: Gordon livens up the scenes of Helfer complaining to her classmates about her sexual frustration by having them all work out in skimpy leotards and bend over a lot. He also dramatizes Bradford's inner conflict by having him repeatedly cruise the streets of Los Angeles, where the sight of big-breasted women in tight shirts torments him.

Can easily be distinguished by: The shockingly blunt tone. Bradford's hooker friends swap stories about back-alley abortions, sexual abuse, and rape, ostensibly killing any titillation factor for the raincoat crowd. The low point comes when a $35-a-throw streetwalker—who unaccountably lives in a luxurious hillside manse—talks about her start in child pornography: "I'd have been a star if I didn't gag so easily."

Sign that it was made in 1982: Bradford's feathered boy-toy hairstyle, which looks so West Hollywood that it has to be an inside joke.

Timeless message: Freud was right. Let's Do It! begins with a scene of the hero at 5, being breast-fed by a mother who wants to ensure he grows up secure. (Dad: "I can't believe that kid hasn't sucked enough security out of your tits yet.") Bradford's grown-up breast obsession culminates in a fantasy sequence where he imagines himself to be nipple-sized and dwarfed by mammaries. (For those familiar with Gordon's '50s and '60s B-movie classics The Amazing Colossal Man and Village Of The Giants, this is called a "motif.")

Memorable quotes: Bradford reassuring Helfer: "I'm not rejecting your sexuality! I love your sexuality!"