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The Day The Smurfs Cried

Excursions To The Outer Limits Of Fan Fiction
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By Keith Phipps
September 21st, 2005

Once a quasi-underground activity carried on in a handful of 'zines, fan fiction exploded when it hit the Internet. Suddenly, fans wanting to continue the adventures of their favorite fictional creations could reach a potentially limitless audience with the push of a button. Eventually, one site, fanfiction.net, became the largest archive for online fan fiction, and—even though it places more limitations on the type of material users may post than other sites—it's also become an excellent barometer of just how widespread the phenomenon has become. It showcases plenty of fanfic for Buffy The Vampire Slayer (upward of 27,000 entries), Star Trek, The Matrix, and other franchises that practically invite their fans to imagine further adventures. But there are also hundreds of entries for unexpected titles like Schindler's List, The Breakfast Club, and Reba. The A.V. Club recently spent some time poking around the dustier corners of fanfiction.net, reading fiction dedicated to some unexpected franchises and studying the responses of the authors' fanfic peers. Here's a tiny sampling of what's there.

 

The Smurfs

Number of entries: 17

Survey: For the most part, even the fan-fiction writers who take the time to write Smurfs fan fiction don't take the task too seriously. Most, like the authors of "Smurfs That Live Inside My Brain!" and "The Communist Smurf," shoehorn grown-up aren't-the-cartoons-we-grew-up-on-weird? observations into rudimentary plotlines.

The SmurfsSample: Not so "Raven Child2," whose sprawling trilogy ("The Smurfette Village!", "Return to the Smurfette Village," and the still-in-progress "How Things Smurf") follows Hefty Smurf on an epic journey that spans several centuries. Separated from the other Smurfs after a devastating flood, Hefty happens on a village that reverses the male-to-female ratio of the patriarchal Smurf Village. Can he find true love with his female analog, Toughette? Will he ever be reunited with his Smurf friends? Can they adjust to modern times when they're whisked into the 21st century?

Representative quote: "Many of the smurfs didn't even try to block away their tears when Papa Smurf reminded them of the horrors they witnessed."

Sexual tension: Moderate. Smurfs can only be so sexy, but there is a distinct sensuality to Raven Child2's descriptions of Toughette.

Critical response: Mixed. While most reviewers offer vague words of encouragement ("Keep smurfin'!"), "Jinglette," author of "Harry Potter And The Search For Michael Jackson," isn't so kind: "You have no life... Writing about Smurfs... GO EAT A MUFFIN OR SOMETHING!" Ouch. And is it constructive criticism or passive aggression when fellow Smurfs fanfic writer "Rowhena Zahnrei" points out, "Proper tense use is vital if you want readers to be able to follow your story easily"?

 

You've Got Mail

Number of entries: 6

You've Got MailSurvey: Two of the entries here offer variations on scenes in the movie, and one sets up a story that transplants the action to high school. The three remaining try to keep the happy ending's good feeling going.

Sample: "After The Credits" recounts a chance sighting of the new couple from the perspective of one of the shocked former employees of Meg Ryan's character, Kathleen Kelly. Author "TraScully" apologizes for the brevity, but notes she has "a whole long idea that could take years to complete—it involves Joe re-opening Kathleen's store and surprising her with it... someone should write that."

Representative quote: "Two business rivals—one of whom I respected, the other I despised—the two most different, opposite, amazingly antonymical humans ever were walking together through Central Park!"

Sexual tension: Low. The fans take the cutesy-wutesy sex-lite Nora Ephron tone and run with it. "She's A Fox, Alright" concerns the birth of Joe and Kathleen's daughter, which would at least imply that some fucking has occurred.

Critical response: The word "cute" comes up a lot.

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