Tagline: "Lady Luck doesn't smile on Zane Smith. She laughs."
Plot: As the creator, producer, and writer of the musical detective smash Rock And Roll P.I., Craig Sheffer has a flourishing career. But his personal life is a mess. His lesbian ex-girlfriend burned his personal files and poetry. His zany New Age accountant has gotten him into hot water with the IRS. His even zanier shrink (Orson Bean) practices a highly suspect form of "hypnotherapy," and his hit TV show's coked-up star (David Cassidy) has a major attitude problem. But his luck begins to change when he meets that rarest of anomalies in Los Angeles: an attractive aspiring actress (Chelsea Noble) willing to date a successful producer. Could a meaningful relationship with Noble be Sheffer's spiritual redemption? (Answer: yes.)
Key scenes: The film subtly conveys Cassidy's hypocrisy by having him discourse loftily on the importance of family values before proposing to Sheffer that they "do a little dancing, maybe do some drinking, a little blow, and then, uh, bury the old meat puppet." Judging by his lascivious tone, it's safe to assume Cassidy isn't talking about arranging funeral arrangements for one of the Kirkwood brothers. When Sheffer criticizes Cassidy's professionalism, he indignantly responds, "The only lines I blow, buddy, are on my own time, so don't give me your fucking square rap!"
Can easily be distinguished by: It's that movie about the soul-sucking evils of television from the writer of such small-screen masterworks as Annihilator, The Sky's On Fire, and Hell Swarm. Also, it boasts so many gratuitous aerial shots that it's practically an infomercial for helicopter rentals.
Sign that it was made in 1990: The clunky, football-sized cell phone Sheffer uses in his car.
Timeless message: Selling out is a good way to engender a massive karmic bitch-slap. Also, don't hire an accountant who talks about how taxes represent an evil attempt to harness the power of the sun.
Memorable quotes: When Sheffer angrily responds to the news that his ex-fiancée has burned all his poems, she replies, "Your poems are flawed. I am not some flower, Zane."
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