Also known as: For Y'Ur Height Only
Tagline: "Bigger than Goldfinger's fingers—bigger than Thunderball's..."
Plot: When a top scientist is kidnapped by the evil minions of the villainous "Dr. Giant," the Philippines' top three-foot-tall spy, Secret Agent 00 (Weng Weng) is dispatched to find him, aided by gadgets like X-ray glasses, a ring that tests for poisons, and a razor-edged hat that hovers in the air like the paper-plate flying saucers in Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Key scenes: In the opening sequences, a blatant knockoff of the James Bond theme plays while Weng poses awkwardly with a machine gun nearly as big as he is. Later, a bad guy even refers to Weng as a "miniature Bond." International copyright laws be damned! Later, a foxy female spy tells Weng she worries about him, as he's just a "little guy" who's "petite, like a potato." Weng predictably tries out his X-ray spex by leering at his boss' fetching secretaries. At a club called Disco Island, Weng channels his inner Denny Terrio opposite a lovely fellow agent, busting all manner of fresh dance moves. In the film's thrilling conclusion, Weng jetpacks to Dr. Giant's island lair and faces off against the bad doctor, whose name proves ironic.
Can easily be distinguished by: Sadly, For Your Height Only is exactly like every other Bond spoof from the Philippines with a three-foot-tall protagonist and a bad guy who looks like a Filipino version of Tony Clifton and talks in the hard-boiled cadences of a 1930s Warner Brothers gangster.
Sign that it was made in 1979: The prevalence of gaudy shirts strategically unbuttoned to reveal as much male chest as possible.
Timeless message: When it comes to fighting evil, size doesn't matter.
Memorable quote: When a henchman gets nosy, a mid-level crime boss sternly admonishes him, "Don't be a nosy parker, Paco. With that curiosity of yours, you're liable to wake up one day and find yourself dead!" He then adds, "The forces of good are our sworn enemy... they must be exterminated, and I mean lethally!"
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