The weather's cooling off, but before we plunge into fall, let's take a moment to think about this past summer. Specifically, let's think back to all those movies that were never screened for critics, or were deliberately screened late enough to preclude opening-weekend reviews. The trend stirred debate over whether critics were even necessary anymore, and it reached an apex when the summer's most-hyped movie, Snakes On A Plane, was released without critics' screenings. The logic: Reviews could only hurt the fervent anticipation built up by months of Internet buzz. (How did that strategy pan out? We only vaguely remember some kind of Snakes On A Plane movie.)
Well, now it's fall. Popcorn-movie season is gone, and it's time for more difficult prestige fare, the kind of movies that don't sell themselves without the help of critics and their fall movie previews. But if the studios don't want to cooperate with us, we don't see why we should bother cooperating with them.
At least not any more than we're absolutely obligated to.
OCTOBER 6
The Departed
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon
What we guess it's about: The Departed is about this one guy who totally departs from something.
Studio-imposed official statement: Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, and Leonardo DiCaprio burn up the screen in Martin Scorsese's riveting remake of the Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs!
Little Children
Cast: Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly, Patrick Wilson
What we guess it's about: With that title and an all-star cast, we're thinking it's one of those animated CGI things. Bring the kids!
Studio-imposed official statement: Affairs and crime rock a seemingly placid suburban enclave in this adaptation of a bestselling novel by Election author Tom Perrotta!
OCTOBER 13
Man Of The Year
Cast: Robin Williams, Laura Linney, Christopher Walken
What we guess it's about: This looks a little like a quickie sequel to Employee Of The Month, but where's Dane Cook?
Studio-imposed official statement: It's Network meets The Candidate meets Patch Adams when talk-radio gasbag Robin Williams runs for president!
OCTOBER 20
Flags Of Our Fathers
Cast: Ryan Phillippe, Adam Beach, Jesse Bradford, Jamie Bell
What we guess it's about: Not much of a powerhouse cast here. Maybe this is a heartwarming indie drama about pennant collectors?
Studio-imposed official statement: Director Clint Eastwood takes you behind the scenes of the famous photograph of Marines raising the American flag at Iwo Jima!
Marie Antoinette
Cast: Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Judy Davis
What we guess it's about: Kirsten Dunst stars in a biopic of the infamous French queen.
Studio-imposed official statement: Kirsten Dunst stars in a biopic of the infamous French queen!
The Prestige
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Christian Bale
What we guess it's about: Someone has finally made a movie about the Weinstein brothers and their annual campaign to shove middlebrow "prestige pictures" down the Academy's collective throat.
Studio-imposed official statement: Prepare for pure cinematic magic in this riveting period drama about the sexy misadventures of rival magicians Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale!
Running With Scissors
Cast: Joseph Cross, Annette Bening, Alec Baldwin, Brian Cox
What we guess it's about: The poster sports a wacky picture of a fist with legs, so this must be some kind of outrageous teen romp, where boys will be boys, and girls learn to love them.
Studio-imposed official statement: The son of two neurotic parents spends his adolescence being raised by a therapist. Blackly comic ennui ensues!
OCTOBER 27
Babel
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Gael García Bernal
What we guess it's about: An all-star cast goes on a madcap cross-continental journey to find some treasure, but when their ship capsizes, they must race to the bottom in order to get to the top.
Studio-imposed official statement: Long before Crash won the Oscar, Alejandro González Iñárritu did the whole lives-intersecting-through-tragedy thing (Amores Perros, 21 Grams), and he's at it again!
Catch A Fire
Cast: Derek Luke, Tim Robbins, Bonnie Henna
What we guess it's about: Taking a break from austere, socially progressive dramas, Tim Robbins stars alongside Derek Luke in an old-fashioned, ethnically mismatched buddy-cop comedy with a sunny South African backdrop.
Studio-imposed official statement: In the tradition of Cry Freedom, A World Apart, and A Dry White Season comes another stirring tale of apartheid told by white people!
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