Have you ever been at a crowded party and found yourself standing near a pair of strangers who are having a conversation so awkward that you can actually hear the sound of politeness being stretched to its limit? (It sounds kind of like velcro being torn apart.) Well, thanks to this clip of the inexplicable appearance of Nicky Hilton on The Late Show last week, now you can.

(Thanks to Mollygood for the clip)

Letterman is trying so hard to make Nicky Hilton say something interesting, or at least, make an expression, that you can practically see him sweating from the strain of ignoring her crushing tedium.

I mean, something funny at some point must have happened to her, right? If not, has she ever seen a late night talk show before? What about an interview? Does she realize this is supposed to be entertaining? Does she know what entertainment is? How about a story, has she ever told one of those before? Jesus.

But, in case you were wondering, the Nicky O hotel (which is not in any way affiliated with Hilton, except for, you know, the fact that a Hilton owns it) is totally killer. The scent of gardenias is "misted throughout the property" and instead of a chocolate on your pillow at night, you get a mini-cupcake! Which means, at 23, Nicky has successfully cycled through 4 of the most irritating trendy non-occupations: handbag "designer", jewelry "designer", boutique hotel "visionary," and now cupcake provider.

Now all she needs is her own brand of crappy vodka.