Horror Films For Right-Wingers:
Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1978)
The situation: Same story, different decade. And this time, it's the conservatives feeling the squeeze. Aliens are rapidly replicating the bodies of San Franciscans, then killing off the originals, leaving anyone not yet "converted" running scared.
The politics: Don Siegel's 1956 version has been read as both anti-communist and anti-anti-communist, but Philip Kaufman's 1978 film has a clearer satirical take, slyly skewering the passivity of West Coast New-Agers. An I'm Okay, You're Okay culture only allows the pod people to propagate quicker.
Key moment: Self-help guru—and ruthless alien—Leonard Nimoy informs wise-to-the-conspiracy Brooke Adams and Donald Sutherland that they're "trapped by old concepts" and need to wake up to a world where there's "no need for hate… or love." But there was plenty of love, or at least scary, dangerous sex, in the decade to come.
The slasher film (1980-present)
The situation: A group of horny teenagers head into the woods for a weekend of drinking and debauchery, but they're killed off one at a time by a superhuman psycho-killer, often wearing a mask and/or a dark trench coat
The politics: Reacting against the progressive sexual politics of the '60s and '70s, Reagan-era slasher films like Friday The 13th and their ilk were notable for their puritanical attitudes about teenage sexuality, and were particularly vicious toward promiscuous females. The only characters that survive these movies tend to be the ones who keep their clothes on.
Key moment: A couple goes skinny-dipping or starts in on some heavy petting, leaving themselves vulnerable to a bloody hacking. Repeat for 10 years.
The Last House On The Left (1972)
The situation: In a modern-day updating of Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring, the parents of a murdered girl get the opportunity to torture members of the cult that raped and killed her.
The politics: The dead girl brought some of anguish on herself by going into the city to see a demonic rock 'n' roll band, then trying to score marijuana from a dirty hippie cult. Honey, don't trust anyone under 30.
Key moment: The parents realize who their houseguests are when they see their daughter's peace-symbol necklace hanging around the neck of one of the longhairs. Not groovy.
The Exorcist (1973)
The situation: Other films found the devil within. Preteen sweetie Linda Blair gets possessed by The Devil—capital "T," capital "D"—and after mom Ellen Burstyn exhausts the learned opinions of egghead scientists and touchy-feely psychiatrists, she calls in a couple of God's Catholic soldiers to clean house.
The politics: In the immortal words of The Louvin Brothers, "Satan is real," which is good news for Christian fundamentalists eager to see the clash of good and evil in non-metaphorical terms. And don't think it's an accident that the movie is about an ineffectual single mother, or that the story is set in Georgetown, a liberal elitist enclave in that den of sin, Washington D.C.
Key moment: The priests literally go medieval on Blair's ass, scarring her skin with splashes of holy water. Their God is an awesome God. And one not to be doubted, as proved by a later exercise in exorcism.
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose (2005)
The situation: Loosely inspired by the most notorious demon-possession case on record, the film mixes horror with courtroom drama as it looks into the case of a priest charged with negligent homicide for allowing a "possessed" young woman to die under his care.
The politics: At a time when "intelligent design" is making headway against the teaching of evolution in public schools, Emily Rose sets up a rigged Scopes Monkey Trial-like scenario in which science fails to account for what the defendants argue is a religious phenomenon. Once again, Clarence Darrow takes the loss.
Key moment: Initially skeptical of her client's claims—that is, until demons start to pay her nightly visits—defense attorney Laura Linney argues that the facts shouldn't determine the outcome of the case, because they eliminate other possibilities. The motions of prosecutor Campbell Scott ("Objection! Silliness!") are overruled.
Here's something left-wingers and right-wingers should be able to unite on. Know what's scarier than any horror movie? Declining voter turnout, and an electorate increasingly put in power by a tiny fraction of the populace. So don't forget to get out there and vote this year.
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