1. People apparently care about the engagement of one of the 18 cast members of one of the 5 hospital dramas on televison.

2. Picking at the bare carcass of the Spears-Federline divorce has reached the level of 4-hour-long sex tape conjecture, as well as quotes from Jason Alexander, a man who Spears was married to for about 4 hours.

3. One of the top 5 stories on People.com right now involves the marital status of famous wax figures (Pitt-Jolie Wax-Museum Wedding Is Canceled)—a story that includes this juicy scoop about the magical guest list of the failed nuptials of the famous mannequins:

4. Eva Longoria, seeking the brief warmth that only the spotlight of a rumor-debunking (or prolonged use of Mystic Tan products) can provide, bravely steps forward to debunk a rumor that never existed. (Eva Longoria: I'm Not Starring In A Lesbian Movie)

5. Stories are talking about Dreamgirls as if it won't be the most annoying thing ever. (Chasing Down The Dreamgirls) Clearly there's nothing left to hype.

6. I just read this story about the opening of the world's first Creationist museum twice. Evidently, it will cost $25 million to build, which means lots of animatronics, large-scale, faithfully-rendered biblical scenes, and, of course, lamb-obscured nudity: