August 6th, 2007
To understand Jets 'N' Guns Gold, it helps to have been or befriended the kind of kid who fills notebooks with intricate interstellar shoot-'em-ups, where bullets shoot in all directions while star freighters bristling with lasers blow up planet-sized satellite dishes, and asteroids smoosh a thousand astronauts. This 2D scroller has two great strengths, and the no-holds-barred content is the first: You'll fight pirates, viruses, zombie metal-heads, flying coffins, "Mr. Loverman," wind-up mice, and beer. (Yeah—beer.)
Its other virtue is its punishing difficulty. You pilot a spaceship that suffers relentless bombardment from hundreds of attackers, forcing you to reconfigure and fine-tune your weapons if you want any chance of success. Laying random cover-fire above and behind your ship is just as important as a strong frontal assault, and each level demands a smart strategy and hair-trigger reflexes. Yet the game also throws in a few easy kills for pacing, as well as missions that strip you down to just a jetpack and your two best guns. That variety is just more proof of the labor and precision behind this frags-and-giggles-fest.
Beyond the game: Needless to say, the main story that ties it all together feels thin. But the comic-book-style intro screens are always worth a read.
Worth playing for: The game has a lot of great touches, from the galactic hitchhikers to the secret rubber ducks, but the smartest may be the medals. You'll pick up commendations for a strong performance, but because you're a disgruntled ex-soldier with no faith in the military, they have no point—unless you decide to pawn them.
Frustration sets in when: Even in easy mode, this game is ridiculously hard. Blowing an hour trying to shoot the big red hat off a flying mouse while it throws piña coladas at you could drive anybody out of their skull.
Final judgment: The first spurts of testosterone hit a full tank of adrenaline, with rocktastic results.
A.V. Club Rating: A-
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