April 7th, 2008
1. The friends of Friends
Although Friends was a hit right out of the gate, that didn't stop the show's writers and producers from littering the series with guest stars and cameos by other famous folk. In the first season, Monica and Rachel went to the ER and met sexy doctors played by George Clooney and Noah Wyle; in season two, the gang hung around the set of a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. Once, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal played characters in Central Perk for one lame gag. The likes of Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon, and Sean Penn had one-off appearances in bit roles, and Tom Selleck and Bruce Willis played characters that stayed on the show longer. And when Jennifer Aniston was still shacking up with Brad Pitt, the Sexiest Man Alive took his turn on the show. But by then, the Friends guest-star-go-'round wasn't about cross-promotion or profile-boosting; it was mainly about megawatt celebrities flocking together.
2. The Beach Boys, Full House ("Beach Boy Bingo")
By Full House's second season, the show hadn't quite yet honed the formula that would eventually make the sitcom a long-running hit: heart-to-heart talks broken up by toddler catchphrases, "Cut it outs," and jokes about John Stamos' hair. Back in 1988, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen barely had the vocabulary to utter "You got it, dude!," and Dave Coulier had yet to use hilarious family-friendly hand motions to work his way into America's heart. Basically, the show needed the kind of ratings boost that only the bland island riddums, easy-listening saxophone, and soft steel drums of "Kokomo" could provide. So after Candace Cameron wins tickets to their concert, the Hawaiian-shirted, middle-aged Beach Boys (and Brian Wilson, who wasn't part of the "Kokomo" Beach Boys) personally show up at the Tanner house and sing their hit not once, but twice with the Full House cast. From there, the show essentially became a Beach Boys concert video, with (what else?) more "Kokomo," and Bob Saget, John Stamos, Dave Coulier, and their TV children joining the band onstage for the worst live rendition of "Barbara Ann" ever heard outside of a karaoke bar.
3. Britney Spears, How I Met Your Mother ("Ten Sessions")
Fans of perhaps the best traditional three-camera sitcom on television were understandably concerned when Britney Spears appeared recently as part of a mutual back-scratching deal: In exchange for providing the troubled pop star with the first step on a long road toward career rehabilitation, the ratings-starved sitcom got a much-needed shot in the arm, and perhaps enough momentum to force a fourth-season renewal order. Win-win, right? Surprisingly, yes. Britney's performance as a bubbly secretary with a crush on Ted (Josh Radnor) was as broad as her Mickey Mouse Club sketches, but it let viewers forget the head-shaving, child-neglecting, stripper-pole Britney and imagine her more innocent days of stinking up the screen in Crossroads. And the ever-savvy HIMYM found a way to integrate her in the least distracting way possible while showing off the zippy one-liners and inventive chronology that make the show great.
4. Kerri Strug, Beverly Hills 90210 ("Pledging My Love")
Following her climactic performance in the '96 Summer Olympic Games—where her dramatic vault on a gimpy ankle sealed the U.S. team gold—gymnast Kerri Strug appeared on the usual talk shows, but also Saturday Night Live, MADtv, and most awkwardly, Beverly Hills 90210. She was shoehorned into a scene where Brian Austin Green has trouble getting the classes he wants at his university's registrar office. "What do you have to do to get a class you want around here?" he exclaims. "Win a gold medal?" Cue Strug, who stiffly quips, "Wouldn't hurt." Some awkward dialogue follows, with Green asking Strug about her gold. "If I wore a gold medal, I think I'd have it bronzed," he says. Now that's good writin'.
5. Yoko Ono, Mad About You ("Yoko Says")
When NBC moved its hit comedy Mad About You from Must-See-TV Thursday to Ho-Hum-TV Sunday in 1995, the network resorted to a barrage of stunt celebrities to lure viewers to the new night, and none were stranger than Yoko Ono. The artist inexplicably hires Paul Reiser to direct a documentary about the wind, although as she herself admits, "It is virtually impossible to film the wind." After comic misadventures and an accidental encounter with the white "Imagine" piano, the closing credits manage to combine a standard MAY trope—Paul and Jamie reading the paper in bed—with a reference to John and Yoko's famous Bed-In for peace. Christ, you know it ain't easy.
6. El DeBarge, The Facts Of Life ("Doo-Wah")
Languishing in its seventh season, far past its prime and swathed in glittery polyester of ever-increasing yardage, The Facts Of Life resorted to the old standby "famous rock star looks for backup singers" plot in 1985. The girls (along with pint-sized manager Andy and hunky pal George Clooney) enter a teen-magazine contest that could put them on vinyl with their hero, El DeBarge—the culmination of a lifelong fandom that viewers had never heard about before and would never hear about again. In the final three minutes of the show, the soft-spoken singer shows up and lip-syncs a surefire hit with the whole FOL gang, known in their professional singing career as "Sexy Lingerie." If there was any sexy lingerie under those harem pants and oversize shirts, we don't want to think about it.
7. America's Next Top Model challenge winners, Veronica Mars
When UPN forced a Paris Hilton cameo only two episodes into its run, Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas had to know that he was going to take some abuse, but that wasn't the half of it. Using its sole ratings hit to prop up the most loveable of its many losers, the network started using ANTM's "acting" challenges as an avenue to egregiously stilted guest appearances on Veronica Mars. Thomas did what he could to limit the damage: One episode stacked a cameo by ANTM challenge winner Kim on top of another cameo from Buffy creator (and Veronica Mars superfan) Joss Whedon, and others gave Cycle Four champ Naima and Cycle Six also-ran Furonda even less time to embarrass themselves. The arrangement worked out well for ANTM, which could add another in the many layers of delusion that had contestants believing they'd have modeling careers after their Covergirl contracts expired. For Thomas and Veronica Mars, it was a cruel reminder of the crosses a network bottom-dweller has to bear.
8. Ben Stiller, Freaks And Geeks ("The Little Things")
Yes, Freaks And Geeks had uncommonly insightful writing and an excellent ensemble cast, but it didn't have a hilariously twitchy, neurotic funnyman as a guest star until its penultimate episode. Ben Stiller appeared as a (surprise!) hilariously twitchy, neurotic Secret Service agent accompanying the vice president on a visit to McKinley High. He ends up bonding with hippie guidance counselor Mr. Russo after flagging him for his protestin' past, allowing for the requisite Stiller-esque rants about the downside of guarding the second most powerful man in the world. Stiller's turn came after it was too late to save the much-loved, little-seen series, and his pre-Meet The Parents star power wasn't potent enough to make much of a difference anyway. But at least his shoehorned guest slot didn't disrupt the show's delicate comedic equilibrium as it eased off into the sunset.
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