Hmm. A "certain feature" of John Mayer's that leaves America's Sourpuss™ Jennifer Aniston "so pleased" that she's "giddy," "giggly," and "glowing"? I'm going to write down "sense of humor coupled with extensive knowledge of exfoliants" in this particular version of tabloid Mad-Libs.

In other words: No. I have no idea what you mean. Why don't you stop winking and just say it? John Mayer is a "great" guy, "if you know what we mean"? Gross, Daily News. Here are a few other equally subtle ways of saying that:

--When John Mayer goes sailing, it is all about the size of his ship...if you catch my drift. (FYI: My drift is that John Mayer's penis is above-average in length.)

--Let's just say that if John Mayer owned a snake, it would be really large, have one eye, and be housed in his pants.

----John Mayer is a big philanthropist. And by "big" I mean "big" and by "philanthropist" I mean "penis-owner."

--Jennifer Aniston loves John Mayer's giant "Heart." "Heart" being Mayer's pet name for his schlong.

--John Mayer is the next James Woods, but only in terms of rumors about his massive manhood.

--John Mayer's body is a wonderland, a gigantic wonderland, located only in his groin area.

And then of course there's the simple approach:

--We hear from John Mayer that John Mayer has a big one.