The choppily edited, relentlessly padded reunion special is the traditional bizarro postscript for VH1’s stable of celeb-reality dating shows. And, true to form, the Rock Of Love 2 reunion was a messy free-for-all of awkward transitions, canned applause, and furious slap-fighting and hair-pulling. Just in case you didn’t hate yourself enough for devoting more than a dozen hours of your... Read Comments: 0

After three months and 18 passed-over ho-bags, we finally arrived at the Rock Of Love 2 finale, starring the final two sex pebbles we all know and love: Ambre, “by far possibly” the best kisser Bret’s ever had, and Daisy, a self-described “very important pussy.” There was no doubt that Bret, like, cared about both these girls insanely, but there’s room for only rock of love, so... Read Comments: 0

Many thanks to the always awesome Sean O’Neal for filling in last week, and dragging smarty-pants Roald Dahl references into the illiterate wasteland that is the Rock Of Love 2 blog. (Who knew so many lit-loving poindexters read this blog? Honestly, what are you people doing here?) I sure missed a helluva episode, arguably the best of the season so far, but I’m glad I didn’t write... Read Comments: 0

Not that I'm insinuating anything, but doesn’t it seem odd that last week Steve came... Read Comments: 0

Here’s how not to feel like a loser: Don’t hang out at a jewelry store on the edge of Milwaukee and wait nearly 30 minutes for three reality TV “stars” to show up for a meet and... Read Comments: 0

Last night’s Rock Of Love accomplished what I assumed was impossible this season: it got it together for once and pulled off a consistently entertaining episode. Honestly, I’ve bitched... Read Comments: 0

“Are you here for me?”

If you watch VH1 celeb-reality dating shows like Flavor Of Love, I Love New York, and Rock Of Love, you know all about “Are you here for me?” At some point, Flavor Flav, New... Read Comments: 0

Thanks to a relatively brief Oscars telecast—like a three-hour blink of an eye, it was!—I had enough time left over to sit through another horribly padded and tedious contest, tonight’s Rock Of Love. Bret finally sent home Peyton because, I guess, he decided she was strongly unappealing, whereas last week he thought there was a chance he’d find her only unappealing. Bret also... Read Comments: 0

Do you watch Rock Of Love for the queasily compelling catfights between bipolar nymphomaniac STD-carriers? Of course not! You watch for the football! Two segments and nearly 20 minutes (!) of tonight’s episode... Read Comments: 0

“This is my gift, the biggest gift I have given in a long time.” With these kind, courageous words, Aubrey asked for her tour to end tonight so her bi-polar BFF Kristy Joe could remain on the show (I think) against... Read Comments: 0

Carpe diem. That was the lesson of tonight’s episode of Rock Of Love 2. If you have a VIP pass that gets you time with a faded rock star whose glowing blonde locks have occasionally been called into... Read Comments: 0

When you spend a lot of time obsessing over stuff that may not in fact be all that important or meaningful, a troubling existential crisis is bound to rear its ugly head every now and then. I am not referring to watching... Read Comments: 0

Before we dive into the abyss that is the Rock Of Love 2 season blog,... Read Comments: 0