Cheapskating: Denny’s serves up free breakfast, screaming puppets

In a tradition that’s threatening to become annual, Denny’s took to the multimillion-dollar airwaves during last night’s Super Bowl to announce that participating links in its greasy-spoon chain will be serving the signature Grand Slam for free this Tuesday, Feb. 9. Being the same Denny’s that increased the Grand Slam’s chowability in 2009 by transforming it into a Dr. Moreau-esque hybrid breakfast platter/sandwich (and then proceeded to let America gorge on it for free), this year’s Grand Slam giveaway was announced in the least subtle way possible, via screaming chicken puppets. Get it? Because chickens lay eggs, and the Grand Slam pairs two fried ones with its pancakes, bacon, and sausage. And with millions of humans turning out to take advantage of Denny’s generosity between 6 a.m. and 2 p.m. tomorrow, those chickens (who apparently don’t live in factory farms, but rather live a life so beyond free range that they can even shop for tiny HDTVs and patronize their local sports bars during the big game) will have to work overtime. Or, as the chain’s new everydude spokesman puts it,  “Rest assured ladies—it’s going to be a rough week for you egg-layers.” (Next to Dodge’s ads for its new-and-improved Giant Thundering Cockmobile and Megan Fox in a bathtub selling... something, it was just that kind of night.)