College supplies you didn't know you needed
More Back to School
Oh sure, we all have days (or even years) when we’re anti-consumerist—but you’d be surprised how much stuff you’ll need when you move away to college. And not just how much, but what. These essentials aren’t listed in your college welcome packet, but will probably come in handy more than your $530 worth of textbooks. Word to the wise: Hold off on your Marxist diatribe until after you’ve purchased the following items on your dad’s credit card.
Kitchen Accessories
Dorm “kitchens” consist of two vending machines and a microwave, and off-campus kitchens consist of termites, so if every so often you want a hot, sanitary meal that’s technically home-cooked, get smart to electric pots like the Rival from Target, or the Kitchen Gourmet from Walgreens. Both hold 32 ounces, boil water quickly, and cost around $10. Aside from working as a stand-in teapot for your liquid caffeine cravings, a hot pot will also yield homemade carbs (oatmeal, pasta, rice, potatoes), steamed vegetables, hot dogs, and canned soups, while acting as an impromptu serving dish if need be. (Although that’s just sad.)
In collaboration with a hot pot, a small French press, like the 3-cup Brazil from Bodum for $15.95, will raise the property value of your small digs by adding an air of sophistication, not to mention an air you can actually breathe. (Coffee smells good. So will your room, for a change.) Plus, by forgoing your daily to-go, you’ll have money left over for your retirement RV.
A small indoor grill, like a George Foreman Super Champ Grill for $19.99 at Target, is a godsend for socially questionable omnivores who like handling hot meats, sandwich melts, and grilled vegetables in the comfort of solitude. Check to make sure you’re not violating the fire code with this one.
Sound And Stench Control
Protect your eardrums from your housemate’s experimentation with subwoofers and sexuality by investing in noise-reduction headphones or hunting hearing protectors, available at outdoor outfitters like Academy in an infinite rainbow of camo, timeless black, and even pink (for the ladies). Called “earmuffs” by those in the know, they range in price from $19.99 to well into the hundreds, depending on your quiet-time criteria. Pacifists can check out SkyMall for far more expensive options, and for the rare thrill of buying something useful from SkyMall.
Scholars suffering from sedatephobia (fear of silence) should go New Age and purchase a CD of ambient noise in order to concentrate. Typically an hour of raindrops will clock in at about $14, and make you want to pee—a healthy form of procrastination. Avoid tracks with claps of thunder, sudden whale cries, or Enya; they’ll only break your focus. In the days before Metallica sued Napster, you could download a free MP3 of looping “natural sounds.” These days, you’ll need to search YouTube for “White Noise Rain” or go to the iPhone App Store for a program like White Noise Lite to find hundreds of like-minded freaks sharing the gift of static sound with the cyber community, pro bono.
The biggest bang for your “save the senses” buck is an electric fan, which will simultaneously drown out the noise and take out the funk. Opt for today’s leader in fan technology, the window fan. A large box fan is acceptable, but both cost between $12 and $30 at local hardware stores (less at garage sales), so get the window fan. It will keep you from getting hot blooded when it’s warm out, and produce excellent white noise for studying and sleeping year-round. Even the cheapest window fans have “exhaust indoor air” options to help ventilate, um, “musky” living quarters. If you own a box fan, take a cue from the stoners next door and place it in your window facing out. (Avoid lawsuits by making sure you have a secure window screen before attempting this.) Seal remaining window space with a towel, then check that your room stank is on its way out by closing your door and placing your hand at the bottom. You should feel a draft rushing in.
Call this a no-brainer, but stock up on fabric softener sheets in your favorite scent. Place at least two in your hamper (or the plastic bag you’re using in its place). Recycle used post-laundry sheets by putting them in all drawers, closets, and closed spaces.
Bedroom Office
In Tokyo, students whose apartments are too “compact” for both a bed and desk use hip, multipurpose lap desks—essentially storable breakfast-in-bed trays that sub in for dining tables and workstations in tight living quarters. You can get fancy with a designer desk, like the Overlap Tray from Offi, but it will set you or your generous benefactor back $149. Take the road less paid for by getting a flat, foldable bed tray like the Breakfast Tray With Flip Top from Target for $26.99. Without the hassle of having to get out of bed for eating or learning purposes, you’ll see your productivity levels skyrocket (good for grades!), and your standards of personal hygiene reach a critical low (also good for grades!).
Student Sports Spa
Your only form of exercise comes from your neighbor’s Nintendo Wii Fit, and you want one, too, but $250-plus is more than your allowance can cover. If you’ve sworn off using your university’s gym on the grounds that it’s “too athletic,” then hark, oh pale, skinny, and studious one: Download free Fitness Program Podcasts from iTunes (under the subheading “Health”) and engage in some solo sports like yoga. For post-workout relaxation, you can create your own fitness spa with a personal massager, like a Wahl Two-Speed All Body Massager from Walgreens for $19.99.
