Colorado criminal loves “Hammer Time,” Mitt Romney’s glitter adventure, and more
AllyGirl520
Pic is unrelated, but how could we resist?
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Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the workweek. Here are some things to think about as the weekend begins.
• A local renegade is facing charges for allegedly breaking a police officer’s window open with a hammer. This isn’t his first brush with the law, either. Two years ago, the same man led police on a high-speed chase, which ended in spike strips, and the man exiting his vehicle with a sledgehammer and Corona beer in either hand. Clearly, the corrupting influence of rap music—specifically MC Hammer—is at fault.
• Colorado Senate Democrats fired an unpaid intern who attempted to glitter bomb Mitt Romney on his visit to Auraria Tuesday. Had the attack been successful, this would’ve been the first instance of a political figure covered in glitter at the hands of an intern that was unrelated to a secret sex scandal.
• A 73-year-old woman was allegedly the getaway driver for a burglary in Grand Junction, leading police on a chase for short distance before stopping at a dead end where her alleged accomplices jumped from the vehicle and fled on foot. The elderly driver refused to speak to or acknowledge police, apparently believing the silent treatment would work on the police as well as it worked in shaming her grandkids for forgetting her birthday. Unsurprisingly, they arrested her anyway.
• Even more hard drugs were pulled off of our streets, along with almost 100 traffickers in the largest drug bust in state history. Almost 30 kilos of cocaine in various forms and a pound of meth were seized. Pretty impressive, and likely to have an impact on the available supply of street drugs for at least the next 20 minutes to half hour.
• The Denver mayor’s pajama party to raise money for homelessness Thursday night was apparently a huge success, which is weird, because the Denver Registered Sex Offenders did the same thing last year to raise money for after-school programs, and that was a total disaster.
