News Net Denver’s urban camping ban, Tebow’s miracle comeback, and more

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• Denver city officials are taking steps to ban camping on city property. This would supposedly stop homeless people from sleeping on the 16th Street Mall and offer a useful tool to stifle the Occupy Denver protests, but what about the impact on the annual Sniagrab sale? Won’t anyone think of the skiers?

• Fans and critics alike are still boggling at the Denver Broncos’ Tebow-led, record-setting, last-minute comeback against the Miami Dolphins, but what else would you expect from the Mile High Messiah but a miraculous victory?

• An Aurora man is filing a lawsuit against Aurora Police Department, alleging that officers responding to a 911 call for medical aid jumped on his back and handcuffed him while he was unconscious after a seizure. It may sound excessive, but those cops had just finished watching The Walking Dead and knew that just because a guy looks dead doesn’t mean he isn’t about to jump up and eat your face. At least they didn’t shoot him in the head.

• A mysterious white powder found near the courthouse in downtown Denver turned out to be corn starch, which was a relief to the firefighters on scene who feared it could be anthrax or a similar bioweapon, but a crushing disappointment to a group of club kids nearby who thought the cocaine fairy had finally answered their prayers.

• Denver may be getting its first snow of the season soon, with up to six inches expected in town by Wednesday, and up to 16 inches at elevations above 9,000 feet. Residents who are planning to call in sick to ski after this gift from the weather gods are reminded that today is the day to start faking a cough and sniffles for maximum plausibility.