Easy, devastating pranks for April Fools’ Day
On April 1, 1958, ABC decided to air the now-legendary Leave It To Beaver episode “The Rascal.” In that episode, incorrigible rascal Eddie Haskell rings the doorbell to the Cleaver household, only to be told by Ward that Beaver and Wally aren’t home.
“I know,” Haskell aw-shucks it. “That’s why I’m here. They were studying at the library when the building went up in flames!”
Ward bolts out the front door and Haskell makes his move. He sprints through the house, in the process donning Ward’s smoking jacket in a textbook gesture of visual usurpation, and opens the back door where Eddie and the Beav are waiting, hidden in the bushes. The three of them round up June, and the whole gang goes into Ward’s den, a room that is usually strictly off-limits.
Cut to Ward, walking back to the house, scratching his head. The library wasn’t on fire. “Why would Eddie would say something like that?” Ward wonders aloud.
Cut to Ward opening the door to his den, only to find June, Eddie, Wally, and the Beav in a pool of blood, an obvious murder-suicide pact. In Eddie’s hand is Ward’s Luger P08 pistol that he took off a dead Nazi during the war. Cut to a close-up on Ward’s lip, trembling. Then just as he’s about to lose it, the whole gang snaps to. “April Fools!” they all yell.
“Get it?” Eddie asks in Ward’s bloodied smoking jacket. “I’m you! Admit it. You’ve been wanting to do this for years.”
Ward promptly loses his shit laughing. Wally starts naying like a donkey; Beav pukes all over the floor from hilarity. Eddie and June slap backs and the whole gang relishes what would go on to become a classic TV moment. Because though controversial at the time, history’s lenses have revealed “The Rascal” to not only be the most accurate onscreen depiction of a murder-suicide pact up to that point, but a visionary, cathartic relief from Cold War tension. It’s also widely credited for popularizing the practice of April Fools’ pranks. Had Haskell and the Cleaver clan not killed it with that hilarious, harmless prank, America probably would never have embraced the tradition.
Still, as with the celebration of most great American holidays, we often wait until the last minute. So rather than just let April Fools’ Day go unobserved like so many of you were bound to do out of lack of preparation, please feel free to snag a prank from the following handy list I’ve come up with. They may not be Leave It To Beaver quality jokes, but they’re guaranteed crowd-pleasers. Enjoy!
The spray gun
Elementary and middle-schoolers, this one’s for you: You know that water-spray-gun thing your parents use to wash dishes? Take a rubber band and wrap it around the lever to make it spray, then position it so that it will shoot out at whoever turns on the sink. Wait for your mom to turn that sucker on and…bam! She’s soaked and you’re a hero. Hilarious! But make sure to have a backup plan, in case she gets pissed. Then yell, “You’re not my real mom anyway! You’re my stepmom so I don’t even care! That’s why dad divorced real-mom anyway. She didn’t have a sense of humor!” Then enjoy the hostile silence of your victory carpool ride to school knowing that you absolutely destroyed that prank.
Popularity puzzle
High schoolers, pick one friend in your loser, virginal clan that you want to prank. Get everybody on board. Start a rumor that the most popular boy/girl in school is having a party that night for all the cool kids: Parents out of town, ten thousand kegs, Lady Gaga is supposed to show up and fuck a robot—the whole nine. Then one-by-one, go up to that friend and slowly let him/her know they’re the only one not invited. That you’re entire loser clique was invited but they weren’t! Keep it up all day. Then, that night, convince that friend they should be the designated driver. Once he or she has reluctantly accepted to do so out of sheer sad-sack misery/a pathetic adolescent desire to even be near that fictional party, pile everyone in, and yell, “April Fool’s! None of us are invited to that party; that party isn’t even happening!” Then enjoy the hostile silence at Village Inn as you and your friends wordlessly smoke cigarettes knowing you absolutely destroyed that prank.
Count your blessings
Adults are much harder to prank because not only are they older and wiser, but all the joy has been sucked out of their lives. That’s why it’s up to you to bring it back. And what better way to do that than nostalgia? When I say plastic wrap, you already know the direction I’m taking, but there’s a twist. Yes, stretch the plastic wrap over the toilet seat, but then hide in the corner. Wait until they pee on the plastic wrap, then when they turn to come hunt you down for getting piss all over them, pop out with a can of red paint and let them have it! Then yell, “April Fools! You thought urine was bad, but now you’re covered in paint too! What an asshole!” Then enjoy the hostile silence of washing paint off of walls knowing you absolutely destroyed that prank.
Regardless of which prank you choose, the key is to not take things too seriously and to soak up the levity of the day while it’s there for the soaking. Because April Fools’ Day is typically only a few days removed from Easter, perhaps the most holy day in the Christian calendar. And no one seems to laugh as hard when you point out that may have all just been one big prank too. Happy April Fools’, everybody!
