Jock Itch Elway vs. Elway: a PR pick-6

The hottest story about John Elway this past week wasn’t about when he’s handing the ball to Tim Tebow, but whether he’s going to lead a drive to sue the skinny jeans off of a Ft. Collins band named Elway. Elway the band received the gift that keeps on giving when it was contacted by the ex-Bronco’s lawyer politely asking the band to change its name. It seems that the punk band’s moniker was too close for Elway’s comfort, even though it uses no imagery of the legendary QB, doesn’t sing about football, and from what I’ve gathered, doesn’t give two shits about the Broncos. 

John Elway didn’t have a particularly good rookie year. Heralded as the golden boy savior of the Denver Broncos when drafted in 1983, he stumbled a bit as a starter (11 games, 7 TD/14 INT) and never got his legs as a quarterback until he had a few seasons under his belt. We all know how it turned out, but as Elway embarks on his second rookie season, this time as Vice President of Football Operations of the Denver Broncos, he’s made nothing but savvy moves and sound decisions. But everyone comes down to Earth eventually, and now Elway is mimicking his first shaky QB season by throwing a public-relations pick-six with the Elway band fiasco. The band politely declined Elway’s invitation to change its name—and why shouldn’t it?

The actual Leonard Skinner didn’t complain about being name checked by his former students that formed Lynyrd Skynyrd, did he? I don’t know. Maybe he did, but the band kept on rocking regardless. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., Mr. T Experience, Franz Ferdinand, Kathleen Turner Overdrive, Jody Foster’s Army, Harvey Milk, and local legends The Perry Weissman 3 (named after a teacher from my alma mater, Smoky Hill High School) encountered no issues with their choices of band names. I know I’m omitting a lot more bands, but the fact that the list is even this long should tell Mr. Elway he’s not immune from this kind of flattery. I mean, there was a band called Sandy Duncan’s Eye for Christ’s sake! If Sandy Duncan wasn’t able to sue the members of that band from using her name and her eye, then I’m pretty sure John Elway won’t be able to either.

Since Elway took over as Vice President down at Dove Valley, he’s made nothing but good moves, but bullying a group of musicians doesn’t seem like a good idea. Actually, it’s a pretty piss-poor one. I understand Elway’s intention here, but this never ends well for the person sending in the lawyers. Andrew Feinstein, now of DenverStiffs.com, used to have a website called FireGeorgeKarl.com. He too received a nasty letter from an attorney vaguely threatening legal action, but after the ol’ Internet ran wild with the story, Karl’s lawyer realized this would only make his client look bad. Now Feinstein is an ardent Karl supporter, and he and the lawyer are friendly.

Elway the band is actually pretty good, so I’m not suggesting its demise is imminent, but I’m pretty sure if the Broncos VP never brought it up, these guys would have eventually gone their separate ways, started a new band, or done something that would have resulted in the Elway name going away for good. Now they’re emboldened to keep making music, since now they can actually bask in the reflected, albeit angry, glory of a Hall of Fame quarterback.

Elway has done a marvelous job so far. The draft was decent, and once the labor hullabaloo is cleared up, the team should be back on track. But this is a big PR misstep for Elway (the man), and we can probably expect Elway to quietly drop his campaign for a band name change in Ft. Collins. There’s nothing in it for him but negative press. Unless, of course, the band starts praising Satan while wearing number seven jerseys—but that would be well worth the lawsuit and a trip to Ft. Collins.