Recap Great expectations at the X Games

Aspen—that sleepy billionaire playground—is home to merely 6,000 residents, but every year, tens of thousands descend on its immaculately manicured slopes and shearling coat emporiums for the ESPN Winter X Games. For one long weekend a year, expensive snowboards (and skis, and snowmobiles), energy drinks, aerial flippy-doos, and winter sports montages reign supreme. As does, presumably, a general sense of extreme! After so many outings of the X Games and the gradual corporate takeover of its athletes, The A.V. Club started to wonder just how X these games still were. Here’s a report from the 14th annual games: what was truly extreme, and what only purported to be.

Extreme: Snow-freakin’-mobiles
The most exciting events of the weekend were held off to the side of Buttermilk mountain, where a hilly course was constructed and reconstructed for snowmobilers to use as their playground. And oh, how they did. First it was freestyle flips; then a “best trick” category that found athletes controlling their snowmobiles with remote controls or letting go while in the air and landing seated backwards; later, it was snocross, a frenzy of a snowmobile race that saw Tucker Hibbert win by such an insane margin, he lapped half the competition. The deafening revving of the engines, coupled with the danger of a 500-pound sled crashing on the drivers’ heads, sealed the deal.

Extreme: Cameramen in peril
There’s a reason photos and videos from the X Games are so compelling: The people with the cameras get as close to the action as possible. They lined the walls of the courses, including the narrow super pipe, and kept rolling/snapping as the edges of skis and snowboards narrowly missed their unprotected heads. Intrepid photogs donned complicated-looking camera rigs and followed athletes down the mountain, eyes glued to their equipment and paying little attention to where they were going. The staggering results are worth the potential injury.

“Extreme?”: The cushiest sportscasters in the business
ESPN is the X Games’ chief muscle, so naturally the network is going to cover the events on TV, providing live commentary and post-event interviews for attendees. But the announcers were so excited about every little turn, it was impossible to figure out when something noteworthy actually happened. They also seemed uncomfortably star-struck by the better-known athletes, failing to muster any questions other than something along the lines of, “How is it that you’re able to dominate this event and be such an amazing person?” The worst was anything having to do with Levi LaVallee, a snowmobiler the commentators talked about constantly even when he wasn’t living up to the hype (which was more often than not), or even competing in the event in question. At one point, his girlfriend was interviewed about what makes him so awesome. That’s some compelling stuff right there.

Extreme: “A” for effort
Skiing golden girl Sarah Burke came to the X Games weighed down by high expectations—namely the chance of becoming the first skier to four-peat in X Games history—but you’d never know it based on the high-flying risks she took in her two events this year. Burke exhibited some major lady-balls in both events, attempting a 1260-degree spin in Slopestyle—a move never attempted in competition by a woman—and a double flare in Superpipe, which she threw down in the final only a few hours after learning the trick. Okay, so she flubbed the moves, ending up in sixth place in both events—but isn’t being extreme all about taking crazy risks? 

Extreme: “A” for execution
Of course, when crazy risks do pay off, they pay off big time, as skier Bobby Brown and snowboarder Halldor Helgason both discovered this year. Both achieved the near-mythical accomplishment of a perfect score in their respective Big Air events. But while flawless execution is mighty impressive—especially when it involves hurtling oneself off an 85-foot ramp—Shaun “Don’t Call Me The Flying Tomato” White proved nothing’s more extreme than a spectacular rebound performance. After catching the lip of the Superpipe in practice so hard his helmet flew off, the world’s biggest snowboarding superstar rebounded spectacularly in his final run, stomping a new move, the much-cooler-than-it-sounds Double McTwist, for the first time in competition and racking up another gold medal to throw in his ever-growing pile. 

“Extreme?”: Boobs! Brought to you by Axe.
As with any youth-oriented event, there was plenty of questionable marketing activity going down at Winter X Games 14. But prominent douchespray purveyor Axe took the ick factor to the, ahem, extreme with its snowbunny snowglobe display. Pity the poor model/actress types who had to spend the weekend enshrined in an inflatable bubble wearing fluffy boots and skimpy outfits while the future Ed Hardys of the world ogled them; but pity moreso all right-thinking human beings who had to constantly avert their eyes from this sad display of extreme objectification.  

Extreme: Del The Funky Homosapian gets high
Most of the music performances at the X Games were questionably extreme. 50 Cent? Maybe if he had played more than 20 minutes. Ghostland Observatory? Maybe if everyone was on Ecstasy. Mighty Mighty Bosstones? Maybe if it was 1998. The one legitimately extreme performance of the weekend came from Del The Funky Homosapian, who admittedly benefited greatly from location: He performed at a private party for Monster energy drink at the tippy-top of Aspen Mountain, which could only be reached by a midnight gondola ride. Del always brings it live, but factor in the thin air at 11,000-plus feet (and plentiful free energy-drink-laced cocktails) and you have a truly mind-blowing experience. 

“Extreme?”: One loud dude promoting Tropical Chewy Lemonheads by having attendees play musical chairs to a heavy-metal soundtrack in the middle of the day.
To the extreme!