Area Bands Past Jake Jabs

What happens after you scrape and claw your way to dominate the local furniture market to become one of Colorado’s most recognizable and successful businessmen? If you’re Jake Jabs—yes, that Jake Jabs of American Furniture Warehouse—you plop down a pile of cash, book studio time, and nurture your crushed dreams of Nashville glory. Fans of Colorado media almost certainly know Jabs as the dude who built a decades-long marketing strategy around cavorting with a menagerie of lions, tigers, and gigantic bulls on cheaply produced television commercials and in print ads. But before he was the reigning kingpin of the state’s largest imported-furniture empire, Jabs was a hopeful with big dreams of country-western glory. Occasionally, we have to tip our hat to the real world for breaking a musician’s spirit until he just wants to sling bedroom sets.

Years of existence: The 79-year-old entrepreneur has had a legitimate, somewhat impressive music career: He started with a barn-dance outfit, The Rocky Mountaineers, in the early ’50s, then moonlighted with a twang band for the Armed Forces Network while in the Air Force. Brief stints touring as a guitarist with the Grand Ole Opry and supporting Marty Robbins followed before answering the call to sell sofas and fight unionization.

Releases: The self-released 15 Of Jake’s Favorite Songs from the mid-’00s seems to be Jabs’ lone recorded output. Echoing the one-take, low-budget ethos that enabled him to shoot a television commercial every other week for years, Jabs handles lead guitar and vocals as he tries to sell listeners on the notion that he’s cut out for the country-troubadour thing. Well, as long as he doesn’t have to write songs—the set is all covers, and Jabs’ versions of Waylon Jennings/Porter Wagoner staples are just misguided enough to make them worthy of half a listen. When coupled with Jabs’ local-celebrity status, that makes 15 predestined for a place in Colorado’s quirk-music hall of fame.

Currently: These days, Jabs is largely content to be just another guy hocking furniture from 12 Colorado locations, albeit one who routinely risks his life at mouths of circus animals. He’ll still dig out the ol’ six-string and perform from time to time, and blackmail-worthy YouTube videos occasionally pop up on the ’net.

Key tracks: Are you kidding? None of country classics Jabs touches on are good for anything but a chuckle, but Jennings’ “Good Hearted Woman” and “Help Me Make It Through the Night” by Kris Kristofferson are among his most cringe-inducing cuts.