Let there be rock (and curling)
More Jock Itch
After watching the Winter Olympics, I’m sure you, like the rest of us, deemed curling to be a sport that you could win with a gold medal in one gloved hand and a Coors Light in the other. I took the beginner curling class offered by the Denver Curling Club out at the Ice Ranch a few weeks back, and will readily admit that it is a lot harder than it looks.
Despite the fact that slightly overweight dudes with goatees were doing it in the Olympics, curling is quite challenging at first. That’s not to say it’s not easy to pick up, but the gulf between the second rink at the Ice Ranch and the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi is pretty large indeed. My experience with curling was a good one, but it lowered my expectations for winning gold to subterranean levels.
The Ice Ranch is a fantastic facility hidden deep in the bowels of an industrial park in Highlands Ranch. I had a hard time finding it (damn you, regular cell phone), but after I did, I was pleased to see two large rinks, ample balcony seating to watch the festivities, and a hell of a bar upstairs.
After a 10-minute tutorial from an actual curler—you could tell because she wore actual curling shoes with the built-in slick part—me and about 20 other beginners made our way down to the rink to get started. The instructors moved quickly through the basics. With ice time being at a premium, they throw you into the thick of it in a hurry. Everyone there was ready to learn, so after shaking off the beginner jitters, we all got down to it.
I was a little nervous, and had the feeling that I was about to make a fool of myself, probably because our instructor gave us slick Teflon booties to slide on the ice instead of cool curling shoes like she had. Was I about to fall on my ass? I didn’t know, but if I liked curling, I was for sure going to buy a pair of those shoes.
Despite my doubts, the rink surface was not exactly slick. It’s finished in a way that leaves small beads on the ice, making it very easy to walk on in regular tennis shoes. It’s only when you put on the death slipper that it turns into an America’s Funniest Home Video entry. It was also a lot colder than I thought it would be. I wore the suggested layers of clothes and got a little sweaty, but I never took off my hat.
When watching curling on TV, you don’t take into account that there is a specific way you have to deliver the “rock.” (That’s what we curlers call them.) This was probably the hardest aspect to grasp since most of us weren’t used to balancing on ice like that while holding on to a 50-pound chunk of granite. And once you figured that out, there was a whole other set of things, like sweeping, skips, and strategy.
The Denver Curling Club is very enthusiastic about teaching people the sport, but there doesn't seem to be enough ice to go around. Upcoming beginner classes are scarce, and despite what you think you saw during the Olympics, it's crucial to take the class before jumping into a league. (Unless you want to look like a huge dork.)
I got the hang of it fairly quickly, only sliding onto my butt once. But in the quickie match my team played against another set of students, I never once got the rock where it was supposed to go. With another session of sliding rocks, I think I could have gotten it down, though I did make a mental note to cancel my flight to Sochi in four years. Still going to get those shoes though.
