Newswire Lord Of The Rings trilogy returning to theaters for three-day summer run

The Lord Of The Rings trilogy was a pretty big deal when it stormed the nation’s box offices back in the early 2000s. You remember that, right? Yeah? Well, Hollywood remembers, too, even if what you and Hollywood remember probably differ in the details. You remember epic swordplay, mythic struggles, a menagerie of species endeavoring to resist the destruction of Middle-earth, and some strange words like “mithril.” Hollywood remembers a sack with a volume comparable to the Grand Canyon, filled with money.

So this June, The Fellowship Of The Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return Of The King will each screen for one day only in 500 theaters across the country, hopefully making both you and Hollywood happy. Each installment of the trilogy will add nearly an hour of additional footage to its already bladder-challenging runtime, just as Peter Jackson allegedly intended. If that extra near-hour of movie isn’t enough to entice you, then an introduction from Jackson before each film should get your Sting glowing.

So, c’mon, quit stealing Farmer Maggot’s mushrooms and come sit around with a whole bunch of weirdos one more time. If not for yourself, then for Gandalf. That guy put up with way too much shit from hobbits. You can catch the screenings in these theaters on the following dates:

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring—June 14
The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers—June 21
The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King—June 28