Sanchez too dirty for the Broncos
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Mark Sanchez: no joke for the Broncos
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If you don’t know what a Dirty Sanchez is, I’m not going to explain the details of such a lewd and lascivious sex act. Doing so would only sully the good name of this website. Let’s just move forward and acknowledge that the Denver Broncos dodged a major bullet by not drafting USC quarterback Mark Sanchez (contrary to what we were led to believe) in this weekend’s NFL draft. The Broncos will probably be the subject of enough ridicule and derision during the next season that the team certainly didn’t need a Dirty Sanchez joke piled on top.
As Sanchez’s stock rose prior to Draft Day this past Saturday, every nerd, miscreant, and web-based meathead started to lob their own version of a Dirty Sanchez joke, each one thinking they were funnier than the last guy. The reference—an unfortunate association for anyone named Sanchez, even worse when you're in the eye of the national media—is the current football equivalent to being named Dick Butkus. If the Internet had been around when Butkus played in the NFL, you know a Dick Butt-Kiss joke would be the go-to for every slob with a keyboard and broadband. But since the Internet didn’t exist in the late '60s, no one dared giggle about Butkus' name on a worldwide forum. Anyway, if you had, he would have ripped your head off. Ah, the good ol’ days.
In passing on Mark Sanchez, the Broncos avoided a ceaseless barrage of Dirty Sanchez humor (now reserved for the New York Jets, who traded up to draft him) every time the guy thew an interception. Toss in the fact that they couldn’t really afford to pay him, and I think the Broncos made a good decision.
Put aside for a moment that the Broncos deflected a readymade joke every time Sanchez stinks it up on the field, and it becomes clear this year’s draft was a confusing mixed bag. The team took a running back, Knowshon Moreno, with its first pick, even though it signed three proven backs through free agency. The defense was the Broncos' glaring problem in the last couple of seasons, so it was odd the team only used one of the picks acquired from Chicago in the Jay Cutler fiasco to draft a defensive player. Then things got interesting: Coach Josh McDaniels dumped one of those first round picks from next year to trade up and get cornerback Alphonso Smith, who they probably could have gotten later on. Talk about pulling a Dirty Sanchez on the fan base.
In Denver, we don’t care what Sanchez does now. Ridicule of his name is one less thing the troubled Broncos will have to worry about this season. And besides, Josh McDaniels already means something dirty to Bronco fans. And if I have to explain that one to you, I’ll have to take a shower.
