Blog Snow, bros, and more on the SIA floor

For the second year, the Snowsports Industries America Snow Show is colonizing downtown Denver, bringing thousands of snow-industry pros to town for four days of dealmaking, pitch-giving, and general schmoozing. 

The public is explicitly not invited to the event. Not even a fat wallet can get you a convention badge if you’re not “industry.” They give out media passes, though! And now it can be told: The Snow Show is totally sweet, even if you’re just a slightly overweight, not-very-good skier who hasn’t been up since 2009. Here are four things I observed while touring the Snow Show on Thursday, pretending to fit in with all the ski bunnies, powder hounds, and gnar-gnar nerds. 

Free beer!
The amount of free beer flowing at the convention rivaled that of SXSW, another elite gathering of incredibly good-looking and fashionable people. As soon as a booth started pouring suds, the wide aisles of the show floor would become jammed with happy conventioneers looking for a cup and texting friends to join them. One booth even offered freshly baked pretzels out of a kitschy cart to go with the brews—which would have been really shitty to discover after spending $7 at a concession stand for a stale, cold pretzel and a small Pepsi. Yes, that would have been shitty.

Skiers vs. snowboarders: the eternal struggle
Despite starting out on the wrong foot—by banning snowboarders from resorts, for example—skiers and snowboarders have learned to coexist on the slopes. But at the Snow Show, the great divide remains. Wander through the miles of booths for long enough, and it’s obvious that the two snowsports are still a little different in their appeal and culture. 

Ski-company booths tended to be serene and cleanly designed, emphasizing the latest technology and craftsmanship, and with knowledgeable staff on-hand to help. The snowboard companies, by contrast, were having a bro-down of the highest order: DJs spinning hip-hop, spray-tanned chicas, saggy pants, and stoic macho-cool. Certainly, if a serious buyer were to start in with hardcore business inquiries, the whole “yeah, brah” attitude would fall away a bit—but, really, like, it’s all about the life, you know? (Fist-bump.)

K2 makes both skis and snowboards, but the company just went full-on crazeballs with its demonic, saber-toothed-leprechaun-carnival snowboard booth:

Convention girls
This is the first convention I’ve ever attended, so perhaps this is a common phenomenon: very young, conventionally attractive women standing outside booths, offering alluring smiles to passersby. Inside the larger booths, a couple of similar ladies would be available for further smiling and modeling of cute apparel. 
So many questions arose in my mind: Who are these girls? Are they employed by the exhibitors? If so, what’s their job title? Are they locals, or do they travel for these things? Is there some sort of convention-girl agency that books them for such events? Where does convention girl rank in the hierarchy of hot-female jobs? I’m guessing somewhere below runway model and above Miller Lite promo girl, but I imagine there’s some overlap.

In any case, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Nomi Malone’s unfortunate stint at a boat show in the classic titsploitation film Showgirls. Watch out for the creepers, ladies!

The Gheek
This was just a nifty little item sold by some beer-drinkin’ dudes deep in the labyrinth of the show floor. It’s a goggle protector that easily fits in a pocket and slaps onto your gogs with the help of some discreet Velcro strips. They come in a wide variety of trendy colors and designs, including the currently popular ’80s-ski-dork neon look. Another cool thing about the Gheek? There’s a little chamois cloth stored inside the protector, so you can shine up your specs at a moment’s notice. Don’t be surprised if Gheeks start showing up soon on the slopes—they were also featured in the Snow Show’s big fashion show, where everyone was drinking free booze again.